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Bob Mugabe@ 90 and Nyerere legacy

February 26, 2014, 9:39 am
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Zimbabwe’s long serving and first president Robert Mugabe aka Jongwe (cockerel) celebrated his 90th Birthday last week. For a country where life span is almost a half of Mugabe’s age, to reach 90 is not a joke. Again, what lesson do we get from this milestone especially if we look at the person? African sage has it that the cockerel taught the chicks to poop in the nest.
          Mugabe is full of shockers. He spent the celebrations once again to warn Zimbabweans to refrain from talking about succession. For, the Jongwe isn't going anywhere. He’s quoted as saying,“But why should it (succession) be discussed when it is not due? Is it due?As you can see (I am) still fit as a fiddle.” He went on saying that talk about succession is shameful for those whose names are mentioned to succeed him. If anything, the implications were clear that you talk about succeeding Mugabe for your peril be it in his party or outside of it. Mugabe added, “That is what we are fighting against and I am going to fight against this one quite blatantly because that is what is destroying the party.” Two names are mentioned in succession races in Zimbabwe; these are vice president Joyce Mujuru and Emerson Munangagwa (Defence).
          Mugabe used his 90th Birthday to eulogize the late Mwalimu Julius Nyerere the founder of Tanzania for whom he had kind words as he was quoted saying,“I want to say, when all honour has been showered on heroes in Africa, the man who has been humiliated is Mwalimu Julius Nyerere.” Ironically, Nyerere didn't cling unto power like Mugabe and all those who pretend to honour and eulogize him while they preach water and drink wine something Nyerere abhorred. For Nyerere, a million bucks was a huge amount he’d not allow to be spent on dining and wining while children in his country or in any African countries were going to bed with nothing in stomach. Nyerere’d nary stomach such pointless extravagance by all standards. Interestingly, many African dictators whom Nyerere helped to get into power are always praising him when they are cornered. What leaves many shocked is the fact that the same dictators who pretend to honour and remember Nyerere do completely different from what he stood and fought for. There is no ruler that can pretend that he respects Nyerere while he does completely differently from Nyerere used do. If anything, this is hypocrisy of its order.
To prove that Mugabe is out of touch with reality, he's quoted priding himself for soldiering on despite sanctions. He's able to spend a million bucks for just a birthday party. He said,"Those opponents of ours who had imposed sanctions on us were baffled." Once again, Mugabe was right. It needs the courage of the mad to spend such humongous amount of money in the country like Zimbabwe where unemployment is in double digits. To do this one must be either insane or selfish and indifference altogether.
Although it right and true to say that Nyerere spent much of the resources of his country to see to it that all African countries are becoming independent, he didn't rule but  he led. He didn’t spend his countries monies on his birthday celebrations or rigging elections. Ironically, according to Al Jazeera a million bucks was spent on this birthday.
Zimbabweans especially the new generation seems to be tired of one man show. Those in their early late thirties have only known one president since they were born. They're tired of just the same as far as manning their country's concerned. Many are asking: What new can a nonagenarian like Mugabe offer to their country?  Although Mugabe is credited for having ushered Independence in Zimbabwe, his role as a leader is no longer wanted. Zimbabweans of today are not looking for a freedom fight. Instead, they’re looking for a leader who can redeem their lost glory under Mugabe’s policies. 
As Mugabe celebrated his 90th Birthday, he’s named as the oldest head of state in the world along with Israeli president   Shimon Peres who is ninety as well save that Peres has nary been in power for such long time. Surprise, surprise, Mugabe’s ZANU-PF has already said that he is going to run for presidency come next elections.
In sum, Mugabe at 90 he obviously seem to be frail. Even his birthday party had to be postponed to wait for him to return from Singapore where he underwent eye surgery.  
Source: The African Executive Magazine Feb., 26, 2014.

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Ukweli usiopingika

February 26, 2014, 1:14 pm
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Je Katuni hii inaweza kuvumbua aina nyingine ya majangili ukiachia wale wa maofisini na maajenti wao mbugani? Je katika wale 40 anaowajua na kuwachunia rais Jakaya Kikwete na huyu yumo? Maswali ni mengi kuliko majibu.
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Hii kali: Papa anapokutana na samaki!

February 27, 2014, 4:09 am
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Kenyan'll always laugh at us with our Vasco da Gama Kikwete

February 27, 2014, 10:20 am
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Looking at president Uhuru Kenyatta's itinerary, for the first time, I wish he're the president of my country. I don't know if what he did not to globe-trot comes from personal conviction or systemic restrictions. If anything, apart from being tired of corruption, Tanzanians are tired of a corrupt and extravagant globetrotter in the office of the president. Since he came to power eight years down the line, President Jakaya Kikwete has toured the world  over 350 trips which is equivalent to approx. 40 trips annually or three trips a month.It means Kenyatta's annual timeline is equal to Kikwete's three-month schedule. What can Tanzania benefit from such a self-serving-and-loss-making president who is blind and greedy not to see the dent he causes the country? Though Kenyatta is the son of the first president who screwed up Kenya a great deal, his restraint against globetrotting is a good thing for the country and for himself. The New Constitution needs to put a stop on megalomaniacs and joyriders who can be elected president like Jakaya Kikwete. For more info, CLICK HERE.
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Ijue sare ya Jeshi la Mafisadi Tanzania(JMT)

February 28, 2014, 7:13 pm
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    BAADA ya tapeli a kisiasa Mwigulu Nchemba kufanikiwa kuwarubuni vigogo wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) kuwa ni mkereketwa wakati ni mganga njaa aliyeshindwa kitaaluma, ametengeneza utambuliko wake maalum akitaka aendelee kujiandalia maisha ya kupewa ulaji zaidi hata ikiwezekana urais kama ilivyotokea kwa Jakaya Kikwete. Kikwete alipomaliza chuo kikuu na kujikuta hana sifa za kuajiriwa kwenye kazi za maana aliamua kujirejesha chamani ambako alipanda taratibu hadi kuwa rais. Huenda kwa kuangalia trajectory ya Kikwete, mropokaji Nchemba naye ameamua kujijengea mazingira. Hata hivyo si kwamba nataribi. Naamini atapotezwa kabla ya kufika popote na kama siyo kuzikwa kisiasa baada ya Kikwete kuondoka madarakani. Hakika ivumayo haidumu. Angalia anavyojivisha magwanda ya ajabu ajabu ili aweze kujitofautisha na wababaishaji na mafisadi na mafisi wenzake ambao bila shaka hawatapenda hii. Haya magwanda yenye kufanana na jeshi hata kama siyo la wananchi yangevaliwa na upinzani bila shaka jeshi lingetoa karipio kwa vile limo kitandani na CCM. Pamoja na malengo binafsi, licha ya huu kuwa upogo na upendeleo ni uhuni wa kawaida unaopaswa kulaaniwa na kuzuiwa na wananchi mara moja.Inakuwaje mhuni mmoja na msasi wa ngawira aruhusiwe kuvaa bendera ya taifa kienyeji hivi hivi?
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Bunge au buge la Katiba na kuiba pesa ya umma?

February 28, 2014, 9:29 pm
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Deni la Sh. 900 lihapolipwa kwa kutoa mke

March 1, 2014, 9:53 am
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Man offers wife to settle Sh900 debt: Patrick Andabwa 31, with Jones Kevogo 40, whom he was allegedly offered to settle a Sh900 debt JARED NYATAYA (Eldoret).
Patrick Andabwa 31, na Jones Kevogo 40 aliyepewa kama malipo ya deni lake la shs. 900 za Kenya.
Kwa mujibu wa gazeti la kila siku la Kiingereza la Kenya la Daily Nation au Taifa la Machi 1, jamaa mmoja nchini Kenya ametoa mpya. Hii ni baada ya kumtoa mke wake ili kumlipa deni anayemdai. Sijui huu tuuite udhalilishaji, kutenda haki au utaahira? Kisa hiki kimetokea na kuripotiwa.Ajabu ya maajabu, mke aliyetolewa kama malipo ya deni amekubaliana na kitendo hiki cha kidhalilishaji huku mama wa mwanaume muoaji akiwahimiza wanaowatakia maisha mema kuwaunga mkono katika maisha yao mapya. Wawili hawa wa aina yake wameahidi kuishi kama mke na mume na kwa upendo mkubwa! Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.
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Hatimaye Zitto atoka kabatini kuonyesha ndoa yake na CCM

March 2, 2014, 9:18 pm
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Hayawi hayawi huwa! Lisemwalo lipo kama halipo laja. Zitto Kabwe aliyekuwa Naibu Katibu mkuu wa CHADEMA ameanza kuonyesha sura yake halisi akidhihirisha kile alichotuhumiwa kutaka kukifanya, kusaliti chama chake. Kwani huku kwenye Bunge la Katiba Mpya ameonyesha kuwa kitanda kimoja na CCM katika kutaka kubaka demokrasia kwa kudai kura ya wazi. Wengi wanajiuliza: Kwanini kura ya wazi kwenye Katiba mpya na si kwenye urais, ubunge, udiwani hata kupitisha miswaada kama siyo CCM na vibaraka wake kuishiwa? Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.
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Mlevi azimia Kawa-dog’s Failure Formulae

March 3, 2014, 10:55 am
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    ASILIMIA 60 WALIOPATA SIFURI WAZIDI KUMLIZA MBATIA, ASISITIZA MITAALA ...
 
Nivwa izwyi lako lino likunjita
Kuti nkasambe mu umwanzi wakwe Mfumu
Ndikwiza mpfumu
Niza                         
Nkwiza kwe wewe
Nkwiza nswevya umwazi uno wanswizile x2
Nasikia sauti yako ikiniita
Nije nikatakasike kwenye
Damu yako Bwana
Nakuja mponya
Nakuja kwako
Nije nitakasike
 Kwenye damu iliyonikomboa
Guys, I’m serious today. Tuache mambo ya kuimba. Naanza na kimombo ili mjue nimebukua pamoja na kuwa mlevi. Isitoshe, wanasayansi wamegundua kuwa ukipiga ulabu kimombo kinapanda. Pia, waligundua.  Ukipiga bwimbwi kujihadaa kuwa uko mitaa ya majuu nako kunapanda. Pia, ukichaguliwa bunge la katiba, kujihisi uheshimiwa na kutaka mshiko mkubwa navyo hupanda. Hayo tuyaache. Humu si mwake.
 Baada ya kuyashuhudia madudu yaitwayo matokeo ya mtihani wa kidato cha Form Four Failure yaliyotangazwa hivi karibuni, nimegundua kitu kimoja. Ukitumia Kawadog’s formula of abracadabra and hanky panky, unaweza kutoka na ushindi mahali ambapo umeshindwa.  Sina shaka. Fomula hii itanisaidia sana kwenye harakati zangu za kutaka kugombea urais wa kaya ili niweze kuwa tajiri haraka mimi ukoo wangu na washikaji zangu.
Kwanza, nitoe tahadhari. Wale ambao vitegemezi vyao vimefeli wala wasikonde. wasijihangaishe wala kuhuzunika kutokana ukweli wa kisayansi kuwa elimu siku hizi si ufunguo na kama ni ufunguo basi ni wa kufungulia bia na si maisha kama ilivyokuwa zamani. Chini ya dhana na kanuni ya mwanasayansi aitwaye Ben Mkapae Tunituni ni kwamba vitegemezi vyenu vinaweza kufanya maajabu vikatajirika hata bila kuwa na elimu. Mtaalamu huyu aligundua kuwa kumbe ili kupata maisha bora uhitaji kuwa na elimu kubwa. Kwani mtaji wa maskini ni mtaji wake na si elimu yake. Simpo. Inawezekana huyu jamaa ndiye aliyeandika shairi la Karudi Baba Mmoja au Kama Mnataka Mali. Wale waliosoma miaka ya 47 nadhani wanakumbuka kitu hii kwenye fomu four au vipi?
          Nimefanya uchambuzi analysis, synthesis, synopsis, thesis na emphasis nikaibuka na kitu kimoja. Chini ya kanuni hii ya Kawadog chakachuazation and politicization of everything, ukiona watahaniwa wamefeli, unaamua kubadili mfumo kwa kuwazawadia waliofeli na walioshinda ili kuondoa malalamiko. Kwa vile nikiwa rais vitegemezi vyangu ima vitakuwa vikisoma ughaibuni au kuwa vimeishaanza maisha kiasi cha kuchangamkia dili chini ya uongozi wa baba yao, nitakuwa na hasara gani nikitumia Kawadog’s formular of making impossible possible?
          Chini ya Kawadog formula, ukitaka elimu au hata uchumi kupanda, uhitaji kujihangaisha na kufanya kazi kwa bidii. Uhitaji mikakati toka kwa wasomi kama vile wachumi au wataalamu wa elimu. Unachohitaji ni kuwa na wataalamu wa takwimu au statistics kwa kimakonde.  Ukishawapata watalaamu wa stats unawaamrisha wafanye vitu kuonyesha kuwa kiwango ima cha uchumi au ushindi kimeongezeka kwa kupunguza sufuri kwa kuzigeuza kuwa divisheni four. Simple, you easily get away with it au siyo?
          Kitu kingine ambacho nimejifunza toka kwenye kanuni hii ya Kawadog ni kwamba ukiona watu hasa genge lako limekustukia kiasi cha kukuita ujieleze baada ya fyatu fulani gengeni kukuita mzigo, unakwenda kwa rafiki yako jioni mnazoza na kukubaliana awazodoe kwa kujifanya hamnazo au hasikii kelele zao.  Ukitoka hapo unaitisha mkutano wa waandishi wa umbea na kutoa karipio na vitisho ukiwaambia viherehere kuwa huna muda wa kulumbana nao bali kungoja kukutana nao huko wanakotaka ili uwaonyeshe kilichomnyima nguwe urembo. Hapa unatumia kanuni nyingine moja itwayo Jake MriKiquette’s formular of killing noises. Chini ya kanuni hii ni kwamba ukisikia mafyatu wanaendelea kupiga kelele unajifanya husikii hata kama unasikia kila kitu. Ukiona umechoka na kelele zao unatumia kanuni iitwayo zodoazition ambapo unatoa lugha za vitisho na kejeli mfano kelele za mpangaji hazimnyimi usingizi mwenye ubavu wa mbwa. Simple, you get away with it.
          Ukiona washenzi na fyatu wanajifanya hamnazo kama wewe kwa kuendelea kuzoza na kupiga kelele unabadili fumula. Unatumia ile iitwayo enough is enough now ambayo pia iligunduliwa na gwiji Jake Mirish Kiquette. Chini ya dhana hii, unatumia lugha za vitisho kama vile “unyonge basi” na madude mengine kuwatisha wapinzani wako. Ila unapotumia kanuni hii unapaswa kuwa makini. Wakati mwingine hufanya kile kitu ambacho watalaamu huita ricochet resulting from blowback effects kwa lugha ya kimakonde. Inaweza kukuachia madhara ambayo kwa kimakonde huitwa the effects of aftermath ambapo walengwa wanaweza kutumia kanuni yako kukugeuzia kibao ukaishia kunywea kama mbwa aliyeiba mafuta.
Turejee Kawadog’s formula. Chini ya kanuni hii, ukishawatumia wataalamu wa takwimu kupika matokeo, unahakikisha unayatangaza kwa ufundi. Hapa kitu muhimu ni timing. Yaani kuwataimu walengwa na kuwastukiza ili ukiwaambia vitu visivyoingia akilini wasiwe na muda wa kukusulubu na maswali. Hivyo, unachofanya ni kungojea kuwapo tukio linalovuta walio wengi. Mara nyingi inashauriwa uvizie tukio la kisiasa lenye kuhusiana na mambo ya mshiko mshiko, sheria hata katiba ndipo ulipue bomu lako.
Ukishatangaza bomu lako unahakikisha unajipiga kifua kuwa umefanikiwa pale ambapo wengi hawakutegemea. Ikiwezekana unatafuta magazeti ya umbea ambayo yako tayari kutumika kama nepi na kuyaamuru yaandike uzuri wa kanuni yako kwa maendeleo ya kaya kielimu. Ikitokea wakajitokeza watu kukupinga kwa kutaka utoe takwimu za kisayansi, unazidi kujifanya hamnazo kwa kusema kuwa huna muda wa kujibizana na watu wasiojua wanachosema hata kama moyoni unajua fika kuwa wewe ndiye usiyejua unachosema. Wakati mwingine mambo ya usanii yanataka ujifanye hamnazo kweli kweli ili kuweza kusema vitu ambavyo hata massaburi hayawezi kusema ili mkono uende kinywani.
Kwa vile nimo mbioni kutangaza kugombea urais, nitatumia hizo kanuni hapo juu kuhakikisha naukwaa na pia kuwawezesha vitegemezi wangu kutawala baada yangu. Maana nitawahimiza wachovu kukubali kila nitakachosema kuhusiana na matokeo ya vitegemezi vyao ambavyo lazima viongezewe ujinga ili vitegemezi vyetu vivitawale na kuwala kama nitakavyokuwa nafanya mimi.
Kwa vile mimi na bi mkubwa na mwanetu ni wajumbe wa Bunge la Katiba, naachia hapa ili niwahi kutoa ushahidi na hoja ni kwanini tuongezewe mshiko. Chao!
Chanzo: Nipashe Machi 1, 2014.
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Hatimaye Ridhiwan aonyesha uchu wake na utawala wa kifalme

March 4, 2014, 4:10 pm
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Taarifa tulizo nazo ni kwamba mwana wa mfalme wa Danganyika, Ridhiwan Kikwete "alishinda" kura za maoni katika chama cha baba yake Mfalme. Matokeo ya mnyukano wa kugombea nafasi ya atakayepeperusha bendera ya Chama Cha Marithishano (CCM)  yanasomeka kama ifuatavyo:
Prince Ridhiwan Kikwete kura 758
Shebby Iman Madega  kura 335
Othman Ramadhani Maneno kura 206
Changwa Mohamed Mkwazu kura 12
Jumla ya kura halali ilikuwa ni 1363 na kura 5 ziliharibika.
Japo ni haki ya kila mtanzania kugombea cheo chochote, kuja kwa mwana wa mfalme ambaye ametajwa kwenye skandali nyingi za ulaji kuna mgongano wa kimaslahi. 
Kama ilivyotokea Arumeru Mashariki, Kalenga, Bumbuli,Kwahani na kwingineko ambako vigogo wameweka watoto wao ili wawatawale watu wao, Chalinze pia imefanya hivyo hivyo. Kesho utasikia first lady akigombea kabla ya shemeji yake yaani kaka yake mfalme kugombea. Huu ni uroho wa aina yake na ni upuuzi kutumia demokrasia kwa vigogo kurithisha madaraka kwa watoto wao. Ukiachia jina Kikwete Ridhiwan ana nini cha mno kufaa kuliko magwiji kama Iman Madega? Ana tofauti gani na wana wafalme wenzake kama vile Hussein Mwinyi, Adam Malima, Januari Makamba, Emanuel Nchimbi, Vita na Zainab Kawawa,Violet Mzindakaya, Godfrey Mgimwa, Sioi Sumari na wengine waliofichwa kwenye sehemu nyingine za ulaji? Je Mwalimu Julius Nyerere angekuwa kipofu na mchoyo hivi akina Ali Hassan Mwinyi na Kikwete ambao wameonyesha upogo wa kuwarithisha watoto wao madaraka wangekanyaga hata ikulu? Mkapa pamoja na udhaifu wake angalau kwenye hili hayumo japo ana mchango katika kurutubisha ufalme huu uchwara. Ni aibu na machukizo hakuna mfano kushuhudia wanyonge wakizidi kuandaliwa viongozi watokanao na koo. Huu, hakina, nao, ni ufalme wa mlango wa nyuma. Je watanzania wataendelea kuubariki na kupigia mhuri ufalme huu wa kifisadi kwa kuupa kura ili ule au wataukataa na kuukatisha?  Ni bahati mbaya sana. Tofauti na Kalenga, watu wa Chalinze hawana ubavu. Lazima mwana wa mfalme ashinde hata kama ikibidi kuchakachua.
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Kijiwe chstukia EPA mpya

March 5, 2014, 6:30 am
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SIKU hizi kijiwe kimegeuka FBI ya kaya. Kila inapotokea skandali lazima mmoja wetu awepo.
Leo ni zamu ya Mijjinga al maarufu Shed. Anaingia akiwa na makabrasha yake huku akiwa ameniga bonge la tai.
Anaamkia kama kawaida yake huku akitoa mkono karibu kwa kila mmoja wetu kabla ya kukaa kwenye nafasi yake karibu na deli la kahawa.
Kabla hata hajasema lolote, Mpemba anamtania. “Yakhe leo watakaenda Dodoma kujiunga na Mgosi Machungi na walaji wengine ili mtetee kuongezewa ulaji hata kabla hamjafanya lolote?”
Mijjinga naye anaamua kumjibu kwa kuigiza lafudhi ya Kipemba akisema: “Yakhe wala huko sendi. Mie si kama wale wapendao kula bila hata toa jasho wallahi.” Kila mmoja anaangua kicheko jinsi alivyopatia lafudhi ya Kipemba.
 Anamgeukia muuza kahawa wetu aitwaye Shem na kusema, “Bwana Shem hebu kwanza nifanzie kitu lau nilainishe koo ili nijenge kesi yangu niliyoleta hapa kijiweni.”
Akiwa anatabasamu, Shem hajibu kitu bali kumwekea kahawa na kuweka mbele yake kwenye meza.
Mijjinga anaibwia kahawa kama funda tatu nne na kuanza, “Waheshimiwa, kaya hii kweli imeingiliwa sijui tutaiokoaje ndugu zanguni?”
“Wewe!” Kabla ya kuendelea Mbwa Mwitu anachomekea na kuendelea, “Matusi sasa. Yaani wewe ni wa kusema kuwa kaya nzima imeingiliwa?”
Kabla ya Mijjinga kujibu, Mipawa anakula mic, “Tatizo lenu ni kubadili maana ya kila jambo. Kama wewe huoni kaya ilivyoingiliwa basi una matatizo.
Hivi huoni wageni wanavyojiingilia tena wakiwa wahamiaji haramu na kuua hata tembo wetu na kufanya kila aina ya jinai na kujiondokea na utajiri wetu?
“Nami nasema kaya imeingiliwa kuanzia juu hadi chini na wanaoongoza kwa kuingiliwa huku ni watawala wetu ambao wametelekeza majukumu yao na kujiingiza kwenye ujangili na ujambazi.” Anapigilia msumari Kapende huku akimuangalia Mijjinga kana kwamba walipanga muvu hii.
Mijjinga anaendelea, “Nitatoa ushahidi ndugu zanguni kuonyesha watawala wetu walivyoingiliwa na mdudu mbaya wa upogo upofu na tamaa.”
Anafungua mkoba wake na kutoa gazeti la Waambie Kavu Kavu lililoandika, “Mkaguzi Mkuu wa Pesa za Serikali (MM-PESA) bwana Lud Uto, amegundua wizi wa zaidi ya dola milioni 300 kwenye Hazina kuu huku akikosa maelezo juu ya upotevu huu hata alipowasiliana na waziri wa Njuluku Saaada Mkuyati.”
Kabla ya kuendelea, mzee Maneno anachomekea, “Hii HEPA nyingine wajameni.”
Msomi aliyekuwa akiangalia na kutikisa kichwa anaamua kutia guu ili kumwaga lecture. Anabwia tangawizi yake na kukohoa kidogo na kumwaga sumu. Anasema, “Kinachogomba kwangu si wizi tu.
Wakati umma wa makapuku ukiibiwa matrilioni kama haya wale wanaojiita wawakilishi wao wako bize wakimalizana wakigombea laki tatu za Katiba Mpya wakati wakiacha wezi wajizolee dola 300,000,000 ambazo ni sawa na trilioni zaidi ya 45 kwa njuluku za madafu.”
Kabla ya kuendelea, mzee Mdomo anauliza, “Hivi trilioni ina masifuri mangapi?”
“Siyo trilioni ni trilioni.” Anakosoa Mipawa ambaye muda mwingi alikuwa akisoma lile gazeti na kuapa na kutukana matusi mazito ya nguoni akitishia kumnyotoa mtu roho hasa wale walioiba haya matrilioni.
Msomi anaendelea kudema, “Nashangaa hawa wasasi wa ngawira wanaojiita wawakilishi wetu. Sijui hawasomi magazeti. Maana hii HEPA ni mama wa EPA kwani ile ya kwanza ilikuwa chini ya nusu ya hii.”
Kabla ya kuendelea Mpemba anauliza, “Hivi ile EPAA ilikuwa kiasi gani?”
Mbwa Mwitu anamuonya, “Ami sauti hiyo. Kaza noti yasiwe yale ya Popobawa.”
Msomi anaendelea; “Wachovu kwa kusahau sijui mmeingiliwa na nini! Yaani hata EPA ya juzi tu umeishaisahau!”
Kabla ya kuendelea Kanji anakula mic, “Vatu hapana soma gazeti dugu yangu Somi. Kama soma hapana iko kumbuka. Mimi ona gazeti nyingi fungia tumbua na ndazi.”
Bi Sofia Lion aka Kunungaembe anatia guu kama kawaida yake. Anasema, “Heri sie huku twafungia magazeti maandazi kwa vile tu wastaarabu, pale nchi jirani wayatumia kuchambia.”
“Hata Bombai mimi ona gazeti chambia na sikini jengea jumba,” Kanji anamuunga mkono mshikaji wake Sofi Kanungaembe a.k.a Open Check.
Msomi anaendelea, “Hii EPA iliyoripotiwa ingawa umma umeinyamazia bila shaka inalenga kufanikisha uchakachuaji.
Maana ukiangalia hata ile EPA ya kwanza ya mwaka 2005 iliasisiwa na na kutekelezwa na Ben Makapu Tunituni akimsaidia kibonde wake Njaa Kaya ili baadaye amlinde kwa kutumia rungu la urahisi ilifanyika karibu na uchakachuaji.
Hivyo, mimi sishangai hasa usawa huu ambapo vibonde na vidokozi kama Muigulu Michembe na Adum Milima walipelekewa kule chini ya kihiyo Saaada Mkuyati.”
“Du Beng’we natamani nile nyama ya fisadi ndugu zanguni. Hii EPA nyingine na mshiko unapelekwa Jersey na Uswisi wangu wangu!” Anachomekea Mipawa kwa hasira.
Msomi anaendelea, “Kwa taarifa yenu hadi unafika wakati wa kuchakachuliwa na kutapeliwa tena kwa ahadi tamu tamu na nyingi, lazima sarafu yenu ya madafu ishuke kama vile inaharisha.
Kwa lugha ya kitaalamu ya Kisukuma hii huitwa double digit inflation. Mara nyingi hii hutokea kila baada ya uchafuzi aka uchaguzi aka uchakachuaji. Unaweza kuangalia trajectory ya sarafu yenu ambayo siku zote huporomoka kama inaharisha kuanzia siku alipoachia ngazi gwiji Mchonga hapo mwaka 1985, 1995, 2005 na sasa 2015.”
“You are dead right Doctor Msomi,”Nami naamua kukatua mic na kutoa mchango wangu.
Msomi ambaye leo amekuwa msemaji mkuu anasema, “Usemayo ni kweli profesa Mpayukaji. Sisi magwiji wa uchumi tunayajua haya japo wahusika wanajifanya kutotusikiliza.”
Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kinanoga si Mgosi Machungi alimpigia simu Msomi akitaka atupe salamu toka Mjengoni.
Kila mmoja alikuwa bize kugombea kisimu cha Msomi ili angalau azoze na Mgosi anayesema kuwa yeye na bi mkubwa wake yaani Mama Abdallah wameishachukua mshiko na wako zao Tuliani wakijituliza na kutuliza.
Tukiwa hatuna hili wala lile si gari la Saaada Mkuyati likapita, kwa hasira tuliamua kulimwagia kahawa tukizomea EPA EPA EPA hadi dereva akahepa kama wezi wa EPA na HEPA nusu agonge wapita njia!
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Machi 5, 2014.
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Mgimwa hauziki, Kalenga si wapumbavu

March 5, 2014, 6:33 am
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JAPO anafahamika kwa uhovyo wake, Naibu Katibu Mkuu wa Chama Cha Mapinduzi (CCM) ambaye pia ni Waziri Mdogo wa Fedha, Mwigulu Nchemba, ameonyesha ukweli wa uhovyo wake wakati akihutubia mkutano wa kampeni kule Nzihi jimboni Kalenga.
Akimnadi mgombea wa CCM, mtoto wa mbunge wa zamani aliyefariki dunia mwanzoni mwa mwaka huu, William Mgimwa, Godfrey Mgimwa, naibu katibu mkuu huyo, alikaririwa akisema, “Mtumeni kijana akashughulikie maji.  
“…mtumeni kijana akashughulikie umeme. Mtumeni kijana akashughulikie sehemu ambako watu bado wanapanda kwenye miti ili wawasiliane kwa simu.”
Mwigulu alibwabwaja mengi tu tena bila kufikiri kuwa alikuwa akijisuta yeye na CCM yake! Kumbe maendeleo anayojisifia kuletwa na CCM ni kiini macho!
Aliongeza, “Mtaji wa Wana CCM akiwamo Godfrey Mgimwa, mtaji wa mbunge wa CCM ni mafanikio ya wananchi…lakini mtaji wa wenzetu wale ni pale nyinyi mtakapokuwa na matatizo ili wailaumu serikali.” Mwigulu anaishi dunia ya gani?
Alisema eti wapinzani hawapendi maendeleo ya wananchi. Hii si kweli. Mbona watu wa Iringa Mjini wenye mbunge wa upinzani na hawalalamiki yeye kuwaletea matatizo zaidi ya kukwamishwa na CCM kama alivyokiri Mwigulu?
Aliendelea, “Hata katika akili ya kawaida, Rais anatokana na CCM, mwenyekiti, madiwani, wabunge, mawaziri…nyie leo mje mchague kadubwana kengine sijui kutoka wapi ndiyo kashughulikie maji kwa, mbunge, waziri wa CCM uliiona wapi?”  
Kwanza, hakuna mwananchi kadubwana. Haya ni matusi ya wazi kwa wananchi wote wasio vigogo.
Ni vizuri amesema hili kuwa kumbe CCM ndiyo kikwazo cha maendeleo kutokana na mawaziri wake kutoa huduma kwa kuangalia nani ni mwanacha au mbunge wa CCM au kwa kuangalia eneo husika kama limechagua mpinzani au Mwana CCM.
Namna hii huwezi kujitapa kuwa unaongoza nchi kwa misingi ya haki bila upendeleo kujuana na ubaguzi wa wazi wazi kama alivyokiri Mwigulu.
Maana yake ni kwamba usipochagua CCM lazima utakomolewa.
Inashangaza kusikia eti Mwigulu huyu ni msomi wa kiwango cha shahada ya pili tena ya mambo ya uchumi. Je, yawezekana akawa mingoni mwa tunaowajua kuwa waliotuhumiwa kughushi lakini Rais akawakingia kifua, mmojawapo akiwamo Mwana Iringa, William Lukuvi wa CCM?
Kuna haja ya kutaka Mwigulu achunguzwe akili zake.
Maana mambo aliyosema licha ya mengi kuwa ya uongo ni ya kujisuta yeye na chama chake bila kujua.
Anaposema wapinzani wanatamani Watanzania wakose maendeleo ili wailaumu serikali anamaanisha nini wakati CCM inayounda serikali iliwatapeli na kuwaahidi maisha bora yaliyoishia kuwa maisha balaa?
Je, Mwigulu anadhani Watanzania ni wajinga na majuha anaoweza kuwahadaa kila unapofika uchaguzi kama walivyozoea? Je, Mwigulu amesahau kuwa wananchi wa Tanzania wanajua uhovyo wa CCM na serikali yake ambazo ziko pale kunufaisha kikundi kidogo cha watu akiwamo yeye na huyo mgombea wake kwa kuendekeza utawala wa kifisadi na kujuana?
Wananchi wanajua kuwa CCM imekuwa ikiwarudisha nyuma kimaeneleo kwa kuruhusu makada wake waibe fedha na kuificha ughaibuni kama ilivyowahi kufichuliwa na mamlaka za Uingereza zilizowafichua makada wa CCM, Andrew Chenge na Idris Rashid.
Wananchi wanajua makada wa CCM walioiba pesa ya umma na kukingiwa kifua na Rais Kikwete kama kampuni ya Kagoda  ilichota pesa kwenye mfuko wa madeni ya nje EPA na wengine wengi lakini wakaambiwa wazirudishe wasamehewe.
Kuonyesha matatizo ya akili ya Mwigulu alisisitiza kuwa Wana Kalenga wapeleke kijana akatetee mambo ambayo yamesababishwa na CCM yenyewe hasa ukosefu wa maendeleo.
Haiingii akilini Mgimwa ambaye amesomea Ulaya wakati wenzake wakihenya hapa nchini atetee eti elimu wakati akijua kuwa elimu iko Ulaya na ndiyo inayowawezesha wao kuwatawala watoto wa maskini waliowatengeneza baba yake na CCM yake ili waendelee kurithishwa madaraka na kuwatawala hao hao.
Anasema kuwa wachague kijana wa CCM awaletee maendeleo, maji, mawasiliano, umeme na mambo mengine mengi.
Je, kati ya CCM na wapinzani nani kiongozi wa kuleta matatizo?  Ajabu wakati akisema hayo alisahau kuwa baba yake mgombea amekuwa mbunge na hakuweza kuleta vitu hivyo.
Rejea CCM kutuhumiwa kuiba pesa ya umma kuanzia ile ya EPA ya mwaka 2005, ambapo zaidi ya dola 115,000,000 ziliibwa kutoka Benki Kuu.
Rejea wizi wa hivi karibuni wa dola 300,000, 000 ulioripotiwa na Mdhibiti na Mkaguzi Mkuu wa Fedha za Serikali uliofanyika hazina.
Je, hapa nani analeta maendeleo na matatizo ya wananchi? Je, huyu kijana ambaye baba yake alishindwa kuleta maendeleo tena akiwa waziri wa fedha atafua dafu?
Rejea maisha ya Watanzania kuzidi kuwa mabaya wakati rasilimali zao zikiwanufaisha wageni.
Nani amesahau utoroshaji wa wanyamapori hai kupitia Uwanja wa Ndege wa Kimataifa wa Kilimanjaro (KIA) hapo Novemba 24, 2010)?
Nani amesahau jinsi Tanzania ilivyo kinara wa ujangili huku baadhi ya wabunge na vigogo wa CCM wakiwa watuhumiwa wakubwa?  Nani amesahau tuhuma dhidi ya bosi wake Mwigulu, Katibu Mkuu wa CCM Abdulrahaman Kinana ambaye kampuni yake ilituhumiwa kusafrisha nyara za umma lakini bado akateuliwa kuwa katibu mkuu?
Je, hapa CCM inakosa kujua na kushiriki ujangili ambao gazeti la Uingereza la Mail on Suday hivi karibuni lilisema ni sehemu ya kutunisha mtaji kwa ajili ya uchaguzi wa CCM?
Tumalizie kwa kumshauri Mwigulu kuwa aache matusi. Yake yakifichuliwa atazimia. Asiongopee wananchi kuwa CCM inawatakia maendeleo wakati ukweli ni kinyume.
Akubali kuwa mtoto wa kigogo mwenzake hauziki. Akubali kuwa Iringa si wageni wa mageuzi. Akubali kuwa watu wa Kalenga watafuata mfano wa wenzao wa Iringa Mjini waliomchagua  Peter Msigwa (CHADEMA) anayeonekana kuwa mwiba kwa CCM hasa mafisadi.
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Machi 5, 2014.
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Saadi Gaddafi arejeshwa Libya

March 6, 2014, 4:03 pm
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Facebook pictures of Saadi Gaddafi 6 March
Mtoto wa kiume wa imla wa zamani wa Libya, Saadi Gaddafi alirejeshwa juzi nchini kwao kupambana na mkondo wa sheria baada ya serikali ya kifamilia ya baba yake kuangushwa mwaka 2011. Gaddafi alikimbilia nchini Niger baada ya kuangushwa na kuuawa kwa baba yake, Muamar Gaddafi. Saadi ni mmojawapo wa ndugu wengi wa Gaddafi wanaowindwa na mamlaka nchini mwao warejeshwe ili wajibu mashtaka mbali mbali yatokanayo na matumizi mabaya ya madaraka.
                 Wakati Gaddfi mdogo aliyesifika kwa ufuska,  kupenda mpira na matanuzi kwa vile baba yake alikuwa rais akirejeshwa, nchni Tanzania ndiyo watoto wa marais wanaanza kujitokeza kufaidi madaraka ya wazazi wao. Kurejeshwa kwa Saadi kumekuja siku moja baada ya Ridhiwani Kikwete mtoto wa rais Jakaya Kikwete kupitishwa na chama chake kugombea ubunge ili arejeshe jimbo la baba yake kama alivyokaririwa hivi karibuni akisema sambamba na mtoto mwingine wa kigogo Godfrey Mgimwa anayegombea jimbo la Kalenga kurejesha jimbo la baba yake. Wakati haya yakitokea sijui kama watawala wetu waroho na wabinafsi wanajifunza chochote. Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.
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Mjue nshomile mwizi anayeita dola milioni 75 pesa ya ugoro.

March 7, 2014, 6:44 am
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Kwa wasiojua ujambazi wa wa IPTL ambao Tanzania imefanyiwa tangu mwaka 1995, nyuma yake kuna nshomile mmoja aitwaye James Rugemalira mmilki wa Mabibo Breweries. Mwizi huyu alitoa mpya juzi alipokaririwa akisema, "Niliiambia Serikali kuwa nyie mmeibiwa na sisi tumeibiwa. Mimi nikawaambia kuwa ‘the end justify the means’ (jambo la muhimu ni matokeo, si njia ulikopitia), mwisho tulikubaliana kwamba kwa masilahi ya Taifa tumalize kesi hii, na mimi ndiyo nikalipwa hivyo vijipesa vya ugoro."
Ashuukuru Mungu nchi inatawaliwa na wezi vinginevyo ingekuwa wakati wa mwalimu Nyerere angeozea gerezani. Ni ajabu kwa nchi inayokopakopa kuwa na mtu mwenye kuita bilioni 120 pesa ya ugoro. Je huyu jamaa ana ukwasi kiasi gani?
Wakati akijitapa, vyombo vya habari vimegundua kuwa kumbe yeye na washirika zake toka Malaysia wamekuwa wakilipwa dola 100,000 kwa siku kitapeli kwa kudai walikuwa na mtaji wa dola 50,000,000 wakati ukweli ni kwamba walikuwa na mtaji wa dola tano. Hata hivyo, ana hofu gani iwapo aliyekuwa waziri wakati wizi huu unafanyika sasa ni rais? Hata ukiangalia jina la kampuni ya mwizi huyu la VIP Engineering unapata swali moja kuu: Je kuna VIP nyuma ya wizi huu wanaompa kiburi huyu mwizi hadi kukufuru?
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BAN FIRST LADIES FROM STATE HOUSE TRADING

March 7, 2014, 10:47 am
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I recently heard Jukwaa la Katiba guys registering their discomfiture with regards the fashionable tendency by first ladies to form NGOs whenever their husbands become presidents.
If anything, I have already written about this crime countless times. Sadly though, this new style of minting and printing money using the office of the president started with Ann Ben Mkapa. When this type of biz’s invented by the third phase many were duped to believe that it aimed at serving the society little knowing it was the opposite. Imbibers opposed this macabre act right away. Who would listen to fyatus like us?
We sometimes fool ourselves thinking that the high and mighty can waste their time to think about us. We goof even more. We give our consent to much nonsense as it was in the case in point. The worst thing I have ever evidenced is the fact that when such ulaji is made, some people goof thinking that it is about them while it actually is only about using them. I still remember vividly. When Mrs Mkapa came with the hoax of fighting for women, our question was: Why after your man became president but not before? Again, who’d listen to boozer at this time of euphoria?
Now that it is an open secret that NGOs are formed to mint and print money using the office of president, it is right time to put a stop on them. Our constitution should clearly stipulate that the wife of the president should not be allowed to form any NGO. For, doing so brings her husband’s office in disrepute due to the conflict of interests arising thereof. This is very logic given that our president is a fallible human being. So too, we've already experimented both having a first lady who does use her husband’s office to make money and the one who doesn't. So we know which is which in this circumstance. under Julius Nyerere and Ally Hassan Mwinyi where the first lady was not in this NGO’s business the office of the president was not in any dispute or disrepute altogether. Come when Mkapa and Jakaya Kikwete allowed their wives to engage in this NGO stuff, we started seeing tongue wagging in protest. Thank lord. Those protesting are the wananchi whose office is abused and misused. We need to listen to them. If the people we portend to serve don’t want our services, why force them if there are no vested interests for those manning these NGOs?
Time for redeeming the office of the president and stopping it from becoming a center for eating frenzy is now. It is now when we write a new constitution that results from our over fifty-year experimentations of the current one that allows such conflict of interests.
By stopping our first ladies from indulging themselves in eyebrow raising business firstly, we’ll be saving and averting them from the danger the former first ladies in various countries. In Zambia, former first lady Regina Chiluba was jailed after her husband vacated the office after it came to light that she used the office of president for private gains.
Secondly, by banning the first ladies from participating in moneymaking activities, we’ll give them more time to console and advise their husbands. Also, banning first ladies from participating in suspicious activities under their NGOs will avert them the corruption allegations such as the former first lady Anna Mkapa is currently facing. It came to light that she acquired some business irregularly.
Thirdly, we’ll be protecting them from being used and abused by corrupt business persons who will pretend to make contributions to their NGOs so as to gain access to the state house. We evidenced this during the second phase whereby some suspicious Asian business persons reached at the point of calling our first lady shemeji. Most of such dirty business people were good tax evaders and smugglers. This is unacceptable. One can see how corrupt and opportunistic such business people are. When the first lady ceases to be, they too cease to contribute to her NGO. Instead, they direct their donations to the new NGO ran by the new first lady. This is how you can see how the so-called contributions offered to help needy mean more that. They really mean business but not altruism as they are wrongly advertised when made or pledged. The presidency is the symbol of the nation.
We've a nugget of wisdom for first ladies. Instead of wasting much time wheeling and dealing, they can spend this time on expanding their knowledge. They can spend their extra time educating themselves especially those whose education levels are wanting.
In sum, given that corruption is the biggest problem our country is now facing. Among other measures, to freeing ourselves from corruption must include stopping first ladies from running NGOs which are always suspicious. It makes no sense to find that after retiring the president is enjoying all millions of shillings in the name of emoluments while at the same time his wife is raking in even more millions from the business she acquired using the same office. This, by itself, is a crime even if we do not treat it as thus.
Source: Business Times March 7, 2014.
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Mkipitisha mafisadi najinyonga

March 7, 2014, 9:09 pm
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Niliposikia majina ya wanaotaka kugombea urahisi kupitia genge fulani nilishikwa na tumbo la kuendesha. Si kwa woga bali hasira. Hebu fikiria, mfano, unakurupuka usingizini na kuambiwa kuwa genge, sorry, chama fulani eti kimempitisha mtuhumiwa wa ufisadi kama Eddie Ngoya-yai, au Bill Ngeleja au Stivi wahassira kugombea urais. Kwa akina sie wanaopenda kaya kuliko maisha yetu ujue hapa ndipo mwanzo wa kujinyotoa roho.
Hivyo, wale wanaotaka kunusuru uhai wangu, nasema wazi. Tafadhali kwenye meza ya kupendekeza majina ya ugombea urais sitaki kusikia majina kama Freddie Summayye au Ben Maembe au Sam Sixx. Pia msituletee watoto wa vigogo kama Jan Maka-mba, Emmy Nchim-bii na Hossein Ali Mwinyie. Kwani kaya yetu haina watu wengine wenye udhu na mawazo mapya hadi tuletewe wale wale waliopewa nafasi wakazichezea? Hivi mtu kama Lowa-sir ambaye aliingiza kaya kwenye hasara ya Richmonduli ambayo licha ya kumeza njuluku zetu ilituacha kwenye mabalaa ya migao na kulanguliwa umeme ana lipi jipya kama si kutafuta kutututumia zaidi kwa kuingiza Ma-Richmonduli mengine? Sijui mtu kama Summayye ambaye alikuwa kiranja msaidizi wa mkuu Ben Mkapppa aliuza na kugawa viwanda vyetu kabla ya kujitwalia yeye na mkewe, wakwe, vivyele na marafiki zake kama ana jipya la kutufanyia. Watu kama hawa walipaswa kubanwa na kuelezea tuhuma zinazowakabili kabla ya kuongozwa lupango wakajifunze. Huwezi, mfano, kutuibia halafu ukatumia njuluku hiyo hiyo kuwahonga wachovu wetu ili wakupe kura ya kula. Haiwezekani na haikubaliki hata kidogo.
Mtu kama Sam Sixx pamoja na kutusaidi kumfurusha Lowassssa, naye alichemsha pale alipopewa kacheo ka uwaziri akatelekeza yale aliyokuwa akisimamia hasa ile kugundua kuwa kumbe yeye na Mwakiwembe na Ma-tormatoes aka Manyanyanyanya walikatiwa kitu kidogo na maulaji wakatua solemba walevi tuliowaamini. Hawafai hawa hata wakisema wametubu na kuzaliwa upya kisiasa na kimkakati. Mtu kama Ben Maembe anajulikana asivyo na sera wala sura.
Walevi tunasema wazi: We don’t want corrupt bigwigs who in essence are looking for presidency so that they can rob us even more. Get it guys? Okey dokey, Well it is honky tonky! Woooi! Naona mibangi na gongo leo vimependa ukamaruni. Hata hivyo mie sikughushi acha nijisifu japo kidogo au vipi?
Kusema walevi wanasema wazi: hawaoni rais humu. Wana sababu kuntu. Kwanza, wanasema wahusika wana papara. Kwanini wasingoje wakati wa kuchuana waanze wao? Hii ni kuvunja sheria. Ina maana wakiwa kwenye ulaji wakawa juu ya sheria si watazivunja zote kwa uroho na maslahi yao?
Wengi wao wanatembeza fweza ambazo hawaelezei walikozipata ukiachia mbali kutoelezea hicho wanachotaka kununua. Je hii pesa imelipiwa kodi? Je wananunua nini ili kupata nini? Kama wanatoa fweza kutokana na mapenzi ya ghafla bin vu, kwanini sasa ni zamani?
Walevi wamenituma niseme wazi tena kwa kinywa wazi na kipana kuwa hata mafisadi na wabangaizaji wapigana vikumbo vipi hawawapi kura za kula. Wanawaona wanavyomwaga njuluku ambazo hawazitolei maelezo jinsi walivyozipata. Ajabu, hata wale waliokataliwa na mzee Mchonga akitaka watoe maelezo ya ukwasi wao eti nao wamo! Je wanadhani tumesahau kirahisi hivi? Tuliingizwa mkenge na mwenzao mara moja baada ya Mchonga kurejesha namba. Kwa aliyotufanya, si rahisi turuhusu fisadi na msanii mwingine hata angetupa ahadi ya kutupeleka peponi achia mbali Kanani. Mijitu inakuja na kutupa ahadi tamu lakini inaishia kututenza kwa uchungu. Nani anapenda rais atokanaye na ahadi nyingi lakini hewa na uongo mtupu kama ilivyotokea kwa maisha supa kwa wote? Nani anataka rais mzururaji asiyekaa ofisini badala yake akawa kiguu na njia kufukuzia matanuzi na per diem? Kwani hatuwaoni jamani hata kama sisi ni walevi? Kuna nini pale kwenye mjengo mweupe zaidi ya kuwa sehemu ya kusukia misheni kwa walaji wachache? Nani mpuuzi na juha arudie upuuzi huu kwa maangamizi yake?
Walevi tunasema wazo kuwa tumeishaistukia janja yao uchwara ya kutaka kutubamiza mkenge mwingine. Wale wanaotudanganya kuwa wanaweza kuwadhibiti licha ya kuwagwaya na kushirikiana nao waliingia hivyo hivyo. Hivi mnategemea nyani amzuie ngedere kula mahindi wakati wote ni nyani wale wale kwenye msitu ule ule? Tunawatahadharisha wale wote wanaotaka kujitwisha mkenge kwa kuamini kuwa wenzao wanaweza kuwakaripia na kukwazuia kutuibia tena. Msikubali maneno au makaripio yao. Lao ni moja kama alivyowahi kusema Lowassssa kuwa usuhuba na ushoga wao si wa kukutana barabarani. Wao ni damu damu dumu lije jua au mvua.
Hakuna kitu kimewaacha hoi walevi kama watoto wa mafisi na mafisadi eti nao kutaka kuwania urais wale kama walivyokula baba zao bila kunawa wala kuomba. Shame on you! Hivi vitegemezi vya wazito vina jipya gani zaidi ya kuendekeza business as usual ya kuwageuza walevi mataahiri na vihongwe wa kuwabeba wao, mizigo yao hata mashoga zao? Who wants such goon in the holy of the holy in the first place? Washikaji leo tusameheane. Baada ya kutoka kwenye mkutano wa kupamba ujangili kule Ulondon nimejikuta nikiwa na allergy na umombo.
Japo hii ilikuwa top secret ya confidential ya usalama wa taifa, leo nimeamua kuiweka wazi kuwa mkituletea wezi mafisadi na vitegemezi vya vigogo kurithi maulaji ya wazazi wao basi mwenzenu nitahama kaya. Pamoja na kwenda kwenye conference ya kuwazuga watasha kuwa nitapambana na ujangili kama nitaula, moja ya mipango yangu iliuwa ni kuandaa makazi mapya kwa maza iwapo mtaleta wagombea wezi watakaonunua walevi na kupewa kura zangu. Na hakika sitanii. Nitahama kaya na kwenda kujipanga upya ili nitakaporejea nije niwanyotoe roho kwa kujilipua na mibomu kama wale wahuni waitwao magaidi. Sikubali kaya yangu itokewe na kile ambacho kwa maza huita to go to dogs. Who wants his hunk to go to dogs? My foot! Si mfalme wa walevi hata kidogo.
Chanzo: Nipashe Jumamosi Machi 8, 2014.
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Tutapata Katiba Mpya au Kanuni Mpya?

March 8, 2014, 9:35 am
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Kwa hali ilivyo ni kwamba wateule wetu waliko Dodoma wakigombea udohoudoho hawakutuangusha tu bali wametutia aibu. Kila siku wanazusha upuuzi huu na ule bila kujali maslahi ya mamilioni wanaowaangalia. Tumezidiwa na wakenya. Walipotaka katiba mpya waliipata tena kwa haraka na amani tofauti na hawa walaji wetu wanaokwenda pale kugombea mshiko. Je watanzania tufanye nini ili kupata Katiba Mpya inayofanana na matarajio yetu? Je hii nayo si aina nyingine ya ufisadi? Hakika aliyeliroga taifa letu alishakufa zamani!
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Is it mortgage, mirage or mintage?

March 9, 2014, 9:26 am
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 The other day I saw an advert on one of the so-called famous blog in the hunk. It was about affordable houses that turned out to be  untouchable. I hurriedly called my memsahib to tell her that at last we've found a home of our dream. I hurriedly wrote an email to inform the mortgage agent that he’s landed on a deal of his time little knowing he’d reply coolly so as to leave us pissed off!
 You know what? The guy on the other end did not sit on the email I sent. He replied as quickly as a thunder. This was nice when I noticed that the guy had responded. What became my unforgettable annoying moment is what the email contained. This guy who answers to either Kanji or Chandra shamelessly informed that they sell house, affordable houses, starting at US$ 110,000. The shock does not end with coughing cool hundred and so bucks. I was convinced that the deal is cool. Thus it’s worth having. For, I was told to pay ten percent which is a cool $ 22,000. The father of the whole shock is the requirement to pay the rest of the monies after two or three months. The first question that stormed my mind was: Where under the Sun do I get such money within such unreasonable time? Another followed: Is this guy serious or he’s just a Nigerian con man?
 I didn't give in easily. I wrote another email asking if he is sincere and serious. For yet another shocker the guy shamelessly told me that the $110,000 odd house was the cheapest. He said that they sell house at prices ranging from $ 110,000 up to a cool million bucks! After assuring myself that the guy meant biz, I just told myself that at last I've discovered why corruption and robbing the public coffers are rife in my hunk. This means. Anybody can rob anybody and invest in whatever biz or assets he or she likes as it recently was reported in neighboring Malawi where one junior public servant’s nabbed possessing over $ 300,000 in the boot of his car. This being the situation, I must say that what’s currently going in Malawi where Madame President Joyce Banda decided to take on mega thieves is exactly what’s going on in Bongo.
Given that there are no laws requiring somebody to show cause how he or she made dosh, anybody can do whatever biz illegally and legally and get away with it. I like to call this madili that overthrew Mwalimu Nyerere’s maadili or ethics. Put it this way. Deals took over from ethics and everything is cool especially for who haves. Now I know why young guys who have nary been employed anywhere are renowned tycoons.  They’re because nobody bothers to squeeze them to tell and show how they made their fortunes.
Again, whom shall we blame if at all the biggies of the hunk who are supposed to lead by examples are adamant when it comes to declaring their wealth? One boozer told me jokingly when I complained about this venality that they are afraid of declaring their wealth for the fear of jambazis. “Wow.”  That’s the answer I offered as I grappled with this criminality that has been legalized so as to become a systematic way of doing things.
Now I know why building and property development are big biz in the hunk. People can either rob paupers, or peddle drugs or poach our animals and get away with it under our thuggery policies.  I wish we’d ape rich countries in which nobody can sleep a pauper and wake up a tycoon the next day. If this happens, Revenue Authorities will be on your door to learn how you were able to make fortune miraculously like that.
It is difficult to get rich quickly in rich countries without toiling. How can one get away with it as it is in Bongo if at all every citizen or resident of these countries has to fail tax return every year? This is why these countries have less volume of corruption. And this is why they are developed especially when it comes to offering social services. It is because nobody or a cabal of thugs that steal from the public as it is in poor countries which are now producing venal billionaires.
What adds up to the development of rich countries is the fact that nobody is above the law. I recently was happily shocked when I learned that the Brits told her majesty whose head is on the Pound sterling to spend responsibly whereby she’s to be audited to see to it that every dime she spends is accounted for. Is it possible to tell an African potentate how to spend wisely? Doing so will amount to treason. If anything, this is why we’re always poor. It is because we've demigod who can squander our dosh and nobody can put them to task.
Going back to the mortgage, if such situation goes on unabated chances are that chaos from the paupers in the future is on our door. How will paupers consent to die of poverty while a cabal of swindlers is robbing them every day and make them believe that such criminality is normal? Given that corruption has been blessed and accepted, authorities seem not to bother to intervene.
Divine intervention is needed to see to it that the so-called mortgage helps everybody in the hunk.
Source: ThisDay March 10, 2014.
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Ridhiwani anataka kumdanganya nani?

March 10, 2014, 9:35 pm
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Mwana wa rais Jakaya Kikwete, Ridhiwani aliyepitishwa na chama cha baba yake kugombea ubunge katika uchaguzi mdogo wa jimbo la Chalinze ametoa mpya kuwa akienda bungeni atawafundisha wabunge kuweka maslahi ya taifa mbele badala ya kulalamikia posho za vikao.
Wengi wanjjiuliza: Kama Ridhiwani ana uchungu na taifa ni kwanini hakumuelimisha baba yake kuweka maslahi ya taifa mbele kwa kulinda raslimali za umma? Kama Ridhiwani ana uchungu na taifa hili,  kwanini hakujitenga na kutumia jina la baba yake kupata huo ubunge anaotaka kutumia kuwafundisha wakongwe kujali maslahi ya taifa ambayo yamehatarishwa na baba yake marafiki zake na familia yake? Je Ridhiwani anataka kumdanganya nani? Je Ridhiwani hajui na kuona kuwa anajidanganya kudhani atawadanganya watanzania kuwa ana uchungu na nchi wakati ni mmojawapo waliofika hapo walipo kwa kuihujumu hiyo nchi anayodai kuwa na uchungu nayo? Kwa habari zaidi BONYEZA HAPA.

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Kijiwe chapendekeza kaya iwe ya kifalme

March 12, 2014, 7:32 am
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BAADA ya kushuhudia wanene wakishindana kurithisha vitegemezi vyao maulaji, Kijiwe kimekuja na pendekezo moja la kuwasaidia wasionekane wanafiki na waongo.
Kinapendekeza tubadili Katiba na kutangaza kuwa kaya hii ni ya kifalme chini ya ufalme uitwao kurithishana.
Msomi anaingia akiwa na nakala ya gazeti la The Mail on Sunday kutoka kwa mama a.k.a. Ukamerunini ambao wako tayari kuwabania misaada ombaomba wa kimakonde kwa vile eti wamekataa kukameruniana.
Anaamkua na kukaa kwenye angle yake tayari kufanya vitu. Akiwa anakunja mikono ya shati anasema: “Waheshimiwa mmesoma mauzauza ya mfukunyuku na mrejesho wa ufalme kupitia kwenye sanduku la kura?”
Wote wanapigwa butwaa isipokuwa mimi ambaye ni profesa wa kweli wa kila kitu. Hivyo, naamua kuingilia kati: “Msomi umefumba sana bila ulazima. Si useme wazi kuwa unaongelea uteuzi wa Princes Riz Kiquette na Godfreeey Mgiiiimwa kugombea ulaji.”
Msomi anajibu: “Kumradhi jamani. Nina manja na huu uhuni tunaofanyiwa tukazugwa eti ni demokrasia wakati ni ufisadi, ulafi na ufisi.”
Mgosi Machungi ambaye amekuja kula wikendi na wanakijiwe ili arejee Dodoma Jumatatu ijayo anakwanyua mic: “Sisi tinaona titangaze wazi kuwa hii kaya sasa ni ufaume kama Saudia, Kuwait, Swaziland na kwingineko.”
“Umesema vema mgosi.  Hakuna haja ya kuendelea kugeuzana mabunga kuitisha uchaguzi na kupoteza mabilioni ya njuluku kuhalalisha ufalme uchwara na wa kijambazi na kurithishana maulaji kwa wazito.”
Mpemba aliyekuwa anaweka tasbihi yake kando na kulonga: “Yakhe mie nahisi kichefuchefu wallahi. Hivi hawa watu wana akili au matope? Yaani warithishana ulaji kana kwamba wengine hatuna matumbo!”
Kanji leo karauka kweli kweli. Anakwanyua mic: “Mimi hapana ona baya. Kama toto ya rais nafaa basi chagua yeye. Yawezatumia zoefu ya baba yake na kuleta endeleo.”
“Go tell it the birds Kanji. Kwani uongozi ni ufalme au unataka kuingiza mfumo wenu wa kihindi ambapo uongozi unashikiliwa na familia zenye nacho?” Msomi anang’aka.
Kapende hangoji Kanji ajitetee.  Anakula mic: “Kanji hajakosea. Kwao wao wanataka wale wale waliozoea kula nao kwa miaka nenda rudi ili mazabe yao yasifichuke. Zimwi likujualo ati. Unadhani ikiingia serikali ya upinzani mafisadi wengi watanusurika?”
“Mimi haiko fisadi. Hata kama mimi Hindi siyo Hindi yote fisadi dugu yangu. Mimi sikini kama veve.”
“Kanji unataka kumdanganya nani? Sikini gani anaishi kwenye jumba ya sajili mwaijumba?”
Kama kawaida yake Bi Sofia Lion a.k.a Kanungaembe anaamua kumhami mshirika wake Kanji. Anakatua mic, “Tusipende kuhukumu watu kwa asili yao. Hata wewe ukitaka kuishi kwenye nyumba za msajili unaishi ilmradi uwe na pesa au siyo?”
Mijjinga aliyekuwa akibukua gazeti la The Mail on Sunday anaamua kutia guu. Anasema: “Kumbe Sofi unajipinga. Inakuwaje nyumba ziwe za msajili tena zitake wenye pesa kama si rushwa?”
“Bila rushwa usawa huu unaweza kupata kitu wewe au unaendelea kujidanganya kuwa kuna haki bila pesa? Penye udhia penyeza rupia kaka.”
“Hapo nimekupata,” Anajibu Mijjinga.
Kabla ya kuendelea, Mbwamwitu anaingilia: “Umempata wapi Mijjinga hapo?”
Mijjinga anajibu: “Hapo hapo unapotaka.” Kijiwe hakina mbavu jinsi wanavyobadilisha maneno kwa maana ya maanawia.
Msomi amegudua kuwa kijiwe kimeacha mada. Hivyo, anakirejesha kwenye mada. Anabwia tangawizi yake na kudema, “Hebu jamani tuongelee hii aina mpya ya ukoloni ambapo vigogo wanatubambikia watoto wao kwa kuwarithisha ulaji kana kwamba sisi hatuwezi kutawala tena bila kuwala watu kama wao.”
Bi Sofi hakubaliani na madai ya Msomi. Anaamua kumvaa: “Jamani watu wengine hata kama mmesoma sana, msitumie elimu yenu kupotosha umma. Kuteuliwa watoto wawili tu wa wakubwa imekuwa nongwa?”
Msomi anamuuliza Sofi: “Umemaliza bi mkubwa?” Sofi anatingisha kichwa kukubali kuwa amemaliza.
Msomi anaendelea: “Kwa vile Sofi amenituhumu kutaka kupotosha umma japo ndiye anafanya hivyo, acha nimpe ushahidi aone ukweli wa madai yangu.”
Anamgeukia Sofi na kusema: “Ngoja nikupe orodha ya wateule watoto wa vigogo ili ujue kuwa si hao wawili tu kama unavyodai. Wamo Daktari shaka Hussssein Mwwinyi, Emmmanueeel Nchiiimbii, Januaaaare Makaambaaa, Wars Kawawa, ZayB Kawawa, Violent Mzidikaya, Adaaam Maaalima, Godfreeey Mgiiimwa na  Sioiiii Suuumari,”
Kabla ya kuendelea, Mipawa anachomekea: “Msomi tosha umeua mwanangu.”
Huku akitabasamu Msomi anasema: “Akitaka nimpe zaidi nitampa tu.”
Mbwamwitu anachomekea, “Wewe! Umeua.”
Mgosi Machungi anamgeukia Sofi na kuuliza: “Bi Sofi bado unataka zaidi ili akupe dozi nyingine uidhike?”
Mijjinga analalamika: “Jamani imetosha. Kwa usawa huu nangoja kupelekwa India kwa presha.”
Msomi anachomekea akitabasamu: “Asipate tabu nitampa tu. Maana wapo wengi ninaowajua kuanzia kwenye balozi zetu ughaibuni Uhamiaji, Mapato au TRA.”
Anakunywa tangawizi yake na kukatua kashata na kuendelea, “Wanene watuzunguka kwa tamaa na upofu wao. Wamejaza watu wao karibu kila mahali kuanzia kwenye siasa kama vile ukuu wa wilaya hadi bandarini, Viwanja vya ndege na mipakani kwenye kupitisha bwimbwi, Banki kuu, Hazina ili kuhakikisha njuluku za wazazi wao hawatokei wahuni wakazifanyia kitu mbaya kama wao wanavyowafanyia wachovu.”
Kapende anachomekea: “Hali hii inatisha na kuchukiza. Si ya kuvumiliwa vinginevyo tujirahisishe kuliwa zaidi.”
Mgosi kashikwa pambaya. Anaamua kula mic, “Huwa sipendi kusema eti tinaliwa. Jamani unatiumiza ukisema hivyo.”
Mzee Maneno aliyekuwa akinong’ona jambo na mzee Ndomo huku wakimtazama Sofi anachomekea: “Naona kama hali yenyewe hivi basi watangaze ufalme ili tujue. Huu si ulafi.  Ni balaa!”
“Watangaze ufalme mara ngapi?” Ada ya mja hunena, ‘muungwana ni vitendo.’ Kimsingi, tukubaliane kuwa wamezidi tamaa. Maana waliyokwisha kutuibia nadhani ingewatosha.” Anachomekea Mijjinga anayemaliza kusoma gazeti la The Mail on Sunday.
“Yakhe hawa wala si watu. Hawatoosheki ati. Wala kila kitu wataka watule hata sie wallahi.”
“Hatiliwi. Titawala wao nao waone raha ya kuliwa.  Tena nikitoka japa nakwenda zangu Bumbui kumshughulikia huyo mtoto wa fisadi Januai.”
Kijiwe kikiwa ndiyo kimechangamka si likapita shangingi la Prince RizOne akiwa na waramba matalio wa baba yake. Wacha tulitoe mkuku kama hatuna akili nzuri!
Chanzo: Tanzania Daima Machi 12, 2014.
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