Free Thinking

Baada ya Mkaguzi na Mdhibiti wa njuluku za lisirikali kutoa taarifa yake ya kuudhi, kusikitisha na kustusha, Kijiwe kimekaa kama kamati kuu ya kuendesha kaya kuijadili na kutoa onyo kuwa tunaweza kuchenchiana kama wezi waliosababisha madudu yaliyomo kwenye ripoti wataendelea kuendekezwa na kukingia kifua.

Taarifa ya Mkaguzi na Mdhibiti wa njuluku za lisirikali aka CAG imetukera sana kama wahanga wa ujambazi wa kutisha uliokuwa ukiendelea kwa miongo kama mitatu hivi kabla ya kuchomoka Dk Joni Kanywaji Makufuli. Huwezi kuamini kuwa kaya apeche alolo iliweza kutoa misamaha ya kodi ya takriban trilioni nane. Hii siyo njuluku ya kahawa hasa kwa kaya kapuku na bingwa wa kubomu kama yetu.

Msomi Mkatatamaa ndiye anayelianzisha, “Waheshimiwa, sijui mmesoma hii ripoti ya Mkaguzi na Mdhibiti mkuu wa njuluku za lisirikali?” anaweka kabrasha lake mezani huku akijifuta jasho tokana na kupashwa joto na kahawa na kuendelea, “Wenzenu sijui kama leo nitakula wala kulala. Inakuwaje kaya yetu ifanyiwe kitu mbaya hivi tena kwa miaka mitano?”

Anakohoa na kuendelea, “Nitawapa ripoti nzima kwa sentensi moja kuwa kwa miaka mitano iliyopita, kaya yetu imepoteza zaidi ya shilingi trilioni nane tokana na kuwapa magabacholi na wachukuaji misamaha ya kodi wakati wachovu wetu wakiendelea kusota na kupukutika kwa magonjwa yanayotibika.”

Mgosi Machungi anatikisa kichwa na kuronga, “Hii ni hatai kusema ule ukwei. Ina maana rahisi aikuwa wapi na aikua akifanya nini na akiipwa mshahaa na kwa faida ya nani?”

Mbwamwitu aliyekuwa akifunua makabrasha anamchomekea mgosi Machungi, “Kila nikisema kuwa kaya hii inaliwa watu wanadhani nawatukana. Huyu kilaza aliyeruhusu madudu haya anapaswa kuchomwa moto kama kibaka au vipi?”

Kapende anadandia mic, “Utadhani Mbwamwitu umesoma mawazo yangu. Kama ingekuwa siyo kaya ya wehu na waoga, hawa jamaa walipaswa kula shaba au kukamatwa na kufanyiwa kitu mbaya wao na wenzao waliotufanyia kitu mbaya hii.”

Mijjinga anaamua kula mic, “Sasa naamini madai ya mze Mpayukaji kuwa kaya ilikuwa ikitawaliwa na mataahira ambao tuliwachagua bila kujua kumbe walikuwa na ugonjwa wa akili. Hivi inawezekanaje utoe misamaha ya matrilioni kama haya halafu ukeshi kiguu na njia kwenda kuomba usiwe chizi hata bwege jamani? Hawa lazima watakuwa mtihani unaomnyima usingizi Daktari mwenzetu Kanywaji kusema ule ukweli.”

Msomi anaamua kurejea, “Kwa taarifa yenu hii njuluku si ya kawaida. Ukitaka kujua ukubwa na thamani yake, iweke kwenye matumizi. Kwa utaalamu wangu –haraka haraka –naweza kusema kuwa njuluku hii kama ingetumika humu kayani, ingeweza kupunguza umaskini kwa aslimia zaidi ya 20. Si hilo tu, njuluku hii inaweza kusomesha watoto wa kaya hii kwa miaka zaidi ya 50 au kujenga barabara ya kutoka Dar hadi Mwanza. Si mlisikia Dokta Kanywaji akisema kuwa ana mpango wa kununua ndege tatu aina ya Airbus? Kwa njuluku hii unaweza kununua ndege zaidi ya mia na kufanya shirika la ndege la Bongolalaland kuwa kubwa kuliko yote barani. Kama ukiamua kujenga mashule ndiyo usiseme, unaweza kujenga shule za sekondari si chini ya 300.”

Mheshimiwa Bwege anaamua kutia guu huku akisonya na kutukana matusi ambayo hatutaki kuyarudia hapa, “Nakubaliana na Msomi mia kwa mia kuwa kumbe tulitawaliwa na wagonjwa wa akili ambao hawakupaswa kuwa ikulu bali Milembe wakiuguza vichaa vyao. Ukiuliza hii njuluku yote imefanya kazi gani wala usiende mbali. Mnadhani mkiona majiji kama London, Dubai, Paris, Panama City na mengine yanapendeza ni kwa sababu gani zaidi ya fedha inayofichwa na wezi wenu wapumbavu? Mijizi mingi inatoka kwenye majimbo maskini lakini bado inaficha fedha Jersey. Hii akili au matope?”

Mpemba naye hajivungi, “Yakhe hakika wankata sana hapa. Maana kama hii njuluku ingetumika Visiwani, basi Pemba na Zanzibar vingetokezea kuwa kama Hong Kong wallahi. Hapa lazima tukazane hadi hawa walotenda huu uovu wanyongwe kama siyo kuchomwa moto kama vibaaka. Maana hawa ni hatari kuliko hata hao vibaka tuniowachoma moto.”

Kanji naye anaamua kumchomekea Mpemba, “Pemba acha mimi chomeka veve dugu yangu. Hii juluku kuba kuweli kweli. Lakini mimi hapana unga kono choma vatu kama wibaka. Napaswa heshimu haki ya binadamu dugu yangu.”

Da Sofia Lion aka Kanungaembe hakubaliani na Kanji. Anaamua kumpinga wazi wazi, “Kaka Kanji sikubaliani nawe. Waachwe waendelee kutukoga wakati twaumia tokana na ujinga na upumbavu wao? Hawa lazima wachomwe moto. Angalia ndugu zetu wa mabondeni wanavyoishi kwa mateso wakati njuluku yao ikitolewa sadaka kwa majambazi wa ndani nan je. Hii haikubaliki; na namshauri dokta Kanywaji chonde chonde ahakikishe anaweka gendaeka hawa lupanga vinginevyo hataeleweka.”

Mipawa aliyekuwa akisoma makabrasha anamua kutia timu, “Bengh’we hawa ni wa kitanzi tutake tusitake. Tukiwaoneaga huruma basi wafunge maisha ili wasiendelee kufaidi njuluku zetu. Naungana na da Sofi; huu kweli ni mtihani mzito kwa dokta Kanywaji. Ama kweli ukishangaa ya Nkapa utaona ya Kikwekwe!”

Kijiwe kikiwa kinanoga si likapita shumbwengu la toto Riz! Acha tulitoe mkuku ili kumkamata na kumfanyia kitu mbaya!

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Wiki juzi nilipoandika waraka wa kufurahia kutangaza vifo vya mafisadi kuna mafisadi au makuwadi wao kama kumi na ushei hivi waliniandikia emails za matusi; wasijue nshatukanwa matusi aina zote; na huwa sijali. Matusi ni maneno tu. Hayawezi kuvunja mfupa; tena fupa lenyewe la mlevi aliyezoea kila aina ya sulubu kwenye kaya ya sulubu. Hivyo, kunitukana ni sawa na kumpigia mbuzi gitaa. Watukane wasitukane, nitaendelea kusherehekea pale mafwisadi yanapopukitika iwe ni kwa presha au ngoma kama siyo mkono wa bwana God. Hata hivyo, sikuwaacha wanahizaya hawa ambao wazazi wao walipata hasara kuzaa mijizi. Niliwaporomoshea mvua na vimbunga vya mitusi tena ya nguoni hadi wakanywea. Sipokea emails nyingine za kishenzi na kichovu kama hizo tena. Walidhani wanaweza kunitisha fyatu kama mimi wasijue nilishajifia nikingoja kuzikwa hasa usawa huu ambapo mijizi michache inahaha baada ya rais Daktari Joni Kanywaji Makufuli kutema moto si cheche kama tulivyomzoea.Aliwapa laivu walanguzi na mafisadi wanaoficha sukari ili iadimike walangue huku serikali ikichukiwa. Nilikuwapo pale Katesh alipofyatua kombora lake kuwa wote walioficha shuga wajiandae kunyang’anywa na kugawiwa walevi. Mifisadi hii uchwara imezoea vijiserikali ilivyokuwa imeweka mifukoni isijue Makufuli ni mtambo mwingine. Sasa mtakoma na kukomaa kama siyo kunyea debe kumbafuni zenu mafwisadi wote kayani na wale wote waliowaendekeza na kuwaabudia wasijue yana mwisho. Yako wapi sasa kumbafuni zenu?

Leo naandika waraka mwingine adhimu na muhimu tena kwa mtu muhimu–ambao kwa wasiojihangaisha kuangalia mambo kama yalivyo–watadhani namuwangia rahis wetu mpendeka anayelenga kuwakomboa walevi na wachovu wote kayani. Kwanza, hata Dk Kanywaji anajua kuwa mimi ni mtu wake tena ninayempa ushauri ambao anaufanyia kazi tena haraka. Mara hii mmesahau nilimtumbulisha Ombni Sifui? Si alijidanganya akidhani hawezi kutumbuliwa akaishia kutumbuliwa tena kavu kavu bila kutarajia. Yuko wapi sasa? Unafanya mchezo na mimi siyo usijue ulevi wangu si wa hasara bali busara na faida. Anayedhani najifagilia, ajiulize kama anaweza kuyachora haya ninayoyachora hadi Dk Kanywaji akayapenda na kuyashabikia. Au mnataka anitwangie simu au kuniandikia email. Na bado nina mpango wa kuwatumbulisha akina IPTL, UDA, na manyang’au wengine ukiachia mbali wale waliokuwa wakiwakingia kifua. Hata mzee wa Kiwira nitambulisha atake asitake. Hivyo basi, naandika bila woga wala kupinda maneno kumtaka achukue tahadhari na wanahizaya hawa wasijemfanyia kitu mbaya hasa baada ya kuwashika pabaya.

Pamoja na ulevi wangu, bado naikumbuka kuisoma vizuri historia. Nakumbuka mashujaa waliofanyiwa kitu mbaya kama vile rafiki yangu kipenzi rais Thomas Sankara wa Burkinabe na waziri mkuu wa zamani Edward Moringe Sokoine waliokatizwa maisha yao baada ya kukamia kuwakomboa wanyonge hasa walevi toka kwenye mikono michafu ya mafisadi wa kitaifa na kimataifa.

Leo–tena bila kupiga mma wala kuvuta bangi–nakuja na wosia muhimu kuliko zote na kwa mtu muhimu sana kwa kaya yetu. Napendekeza afanye yafuatayo:

Mosi, anapogundua jipu, atumbue waliotumbuliwa watatoa sauti wenyewe. Asitoe tishio au onyo ambavyo vinaweza kutumiwa na mashetani hawa kumhujumu kwa namna yoyote. Simba mwendapole na mkimya ndiye hula nyama. Hapa la kufanya si kuyatishia majambazi haya bali kuyapiga marufuku ikiwezekana kuyatupa lupango yakapate jambajamba ya kushea vyoo kule kama si kushikishwa ukuta. Asihau kuwa majipu mengine anatembea nayo ila hajayagundua. Kwenye msafara kenge mamba wamo.

Pili, kama sukari tajwa, alipaswa kuvamia maghala na kuinyakua na kuigawa kwa walevi badala ya kutangaza ili haya mafisadi yajue kaya hii ina wenyewe na wenyewe ni sisi na si yenyewe kama yalivyozoea.

Tatu, badala ya kuyazodoa na kuyaonya, ilibidi baada ya kukamata sukari na kuyatupa lupango, ayatwange faini wakati yakingoja kesi kamambe ya kuhujumu uchumi.

Nne, akumbuke historia ya mashujaa tajwa hapo juu. Nao walifanya kama yeye wasijue haya majitu hayana utu wala hayathamini uhai. Najua shujaa Sokoine alipodedishwa kwa kukamata mafisadi, Dk Kanywaji–kama mimi–alikuwa shule au jeshini. Hata hivyo, anajua chanzo na sababu ya kuSokoiniwa Sokoine. Najua anaweza kusema yule alikuwa waziri mkuu tu wakati Kanywaji ni rais. Mchezo ni ule ule–angalia na tahadhari waliokuzunguka–ili uchukue tahadhari. Sisi walevi tulishazoea. Ukiona mlevi wako wa karibu anajifanya kukujali na kukupenda jua anamnyemelea bi mkubwa wako ili apate majamboz.

Adui mwingine mkubwa anayemnyemelea Dk Kanywaji si mwingine bali genge lake. Limejaa mijitu yenye roho mbaya na minyama inayoweza kunyotoa mja roho hata kwa kuikosoa. Just imagine; kama Horace Kolimba aliliambia genge lake kuwa limepoteza mwelekeo ikaamua kumKolimba, fikiria huyu anayetishia maslahi yao uchwara ukiachia mbali kutaka kufumua mfumo uliozooza na wa hovyo wa muda mrefu. Kama waliweza kumdedisha mtu kwa kuwakosoa, unadhani watamfanya nini anayetishia kuwatumbua wakubwa na wadogo katika genge hili? Hamuoni jamaa anavyogwaya kuachia ukiti akiogopa kutumbuliwa. Hata agomee vipi ataachia na kutumbuliwa atatumbuliwa tu. If he has any skeletons in the closet. Ni suala la muda.

Kwa walevi sisi bangi na kanywaji hatuna majipu wala mzee usijekututumbua shida zilishatutumbua.

Chanzo: Nipashe.

Hivi karibuni mkuu wa mkoa wa Dar es Salaam Paul Makonda aliwalisha viapo wakuu wa idara mkoani mwake kufichua wafanyakazi hewa. Huu ni utaratibu mpya ambao sijui unatoka kwenye katiba gani hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa kuna baadhi ya kada ya wafanyakazi isiyohitaji viapo inapoajiriwa. Je sheria za nchi zinasemaje kuhusiana na masuala kama haya? Je hivi viapo vina uzito na uhalali kisheria? Je walioviandaa wamezingatia sheria gani na mambo gani? Je viapo hivi vinaweza kuheshimika mahakamani kama waliovila watavivunja? Sijui kama kisheria viapo kama hivi–ambavyo bila shaka–havina mashiko kisheria vinaweza kutekelezwa mbele ya mahakama au kupata hadhi ya mkataba kisheria. Nasema hili ni jambo jema linalofanyika vibaya kutokana na kutokuwa na mizizi katika katiba yetu. Kulishana viapo kienyeji bila miiko inayoeleweka ya uongozi na utumishi wa umma ni kama kutapatapa. Hata huko makanisani wanapolishana viapo, huwa kuna kanuni na utaratibu vinavyoeleweka na kukubalika kisheria. Si hilo tu, kuna namna ya kisheria ya kutekeleza viapo hivyo na madhara yake vinapovunjwa kisheria. Rejesheni katiba mpya muepuka kusumbuka na kuhangaika jambo ambalo linaweza kutafsiriwa kama ombwe la sera jambo ambalo si jema kwa serikali iliyodhamiria kuleta mageuzi katika mfumo wa utawala wa taifa letu.

Wengi wanashangaa sana namna ambavyo baadhi ya watu wanaweza kufanya mambo. Japo huu unaweza kuonekana kama ubunifu, bila kuwa na utaratibu maalumu kisheria, ubunifu unaweza kuonekana kama vurugu na hata ubabaishaji. Inashangaza sana kufikia hatua hii hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa kulikuwa na fursa ya kurekebisha mambo na kuwa na utaratibu unaojulikana lakini watu wachache wakaifuja. Fursa hii ilijitokeza pale ilipoamriwa kukusanywa maoni kwa ajili ya kuandika katiba mpya ambayo watawala woga na wasio na udhu waliyapuuza na kuizika katiba ikiwa hai huku wakiwa wameitia nchi hasara ya fedha na muda. Ni ajabu sana kuona hawa wanaowaapisha wenzao ndiyo wanaosifika kuua katiba mpya ambayo bila shaka ingeondoa huu uoza kirahisi. Nchi haiwezi kuendeshwa kwa mipango na mawazo binafsi ya rais ua wasaidizi wake bali kanuni na sheria vinavyoeleweka na kukubalika kwa wananchi wote. Leo Makonda anawalisha wakuu wa idara wa Dar es Salaam kwa kiapo fulani. Kesho atakuja mwingine na aina yake ya kiapo. Je hii haijawa vurugu na usumbufu kwa umma usio na mabavu ya kupinga wala kuzuia vurugu hii? Tunajua hawa wanaolishwa viapo hawawezi kufurukuta tokana na woga uliolikumba taifa hasa kutokana na wafanyakazi wengi kuzoea kufanya kazi kwa mazoea na kuvurunda kiasi cha kutoa nafasi ya mambo kama haya ya hovyo kufanyika.

Ni jambo la hovyo na hatari kumwachia kila mkuu kwenye nafasi yake kujiundia utaratibu wa kuleta uwajibikaji. Kufanya hivyo–zaidi ya kuonyesha ombwe–ni vurugu na fursa ambayo inaweza kutumika vibaya. Lazima katika uongozi wa taifa, kuwe na vigezo na kanuni zinazofanana. Leo mkuu wa mkoa wa Dar es Salaam anajiundia kiapo chake. Kesho mkuu wa mkoa mwingine atafanya hivyo. Mwisho wa siku, tutakuwa na wafanyakazi wenye nyadhifa zinazofanana lakini waliolishwa viapo tofauti. Ni vizuri tukafahamu na kukubali si watendaji wote wana ujuzi wa mambo ya kisheria wala si wote wanaoweza kuwa na utashi wa kuheshimu haki za wenzao hasa wakati huu ambapo kila mkubwa anajitahidi kumridhisha rais na si wananchi.

Kwa wanaomfahamu mtu kama Makonda ambaye anasifika kwa kutenda kwa mabavu, watakubaliana nasi kuwa kama viapo vyake vitakiukwa–jambo ambalo ni la kawaida kwa binadamu–uwezekano wa kutoa huku zisizolingana na makosa ni mkubwa hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa viapo vya namna hii havina nguvu na uhalali kisheria. Kwa lugha nyepesi ni kwamba ombwe la kanuni na sera linaanza kuzaa vurugu bila sababu. Hivyo tunamtaka rais afanye yafuatayo:

Mosi, akemee ujitwaliaji huu wa madaraka ambao unaweza kufanyika kwa kisingizio cha kuteleza amri zake. Pia hii inaweza kuonyesha kuchanganyikiwa kwa wahusika kiasi cha kufanya mambo kwa mazoea au hisia badala ya sheria.

Pili, kuondokana na kadhia hii, rais anapaswa kuanzisha utaratibu wa kurejea kwenye katiba mpya akianzia pale tulipoishia baada ya katiba husika kuuawa kifisadi na kiwoga.

Tatu, rais atangaze utaratibu utakaofuatwa na muda utakaotumika kuipata katiba mpya ili kuepuka kupoteza fedha na muda zaidi kwenye jambo ambalo lilishakamilika.

Nne, rais atangaze wazi wazi kuwa utumishi wa umma hufuata sheria zilizowekwa na hivyo uzingatiwe; na kama zinapwaya zirekebishwe ili kuepusha vurugu hii ya kimfumo. Haiwezekani mtu akaamka na kujichukulia uamuzi wa kufanya vitu vinavyofunja sheria akaachwa hata kama nia yake ni nzuri. Huwezi kutekeleza jambo zuri kwa njia mbaya bado likaendelea kuwa baya wala kufanya jambo baya kwa nia nzuri likawa jema.

Tumalizie kwa kusisitiza kuwa serikali ianzishe utaratibu kwa watendaji wake kufanya mambo ndani ya sheria tena kwa sare kwa taifa zima badala ya kila mtu kujifanyia atakavyo. Kwani kufanya hivyo ni vurugu tupu. Nani anataka kuishi chini ya mfumo wa jazba, vurugu na ombwe?

Chanzo: Mwanahalisi.

Though Bongolalalanders have no tails, they make me wonder a lot especially when I see what they do either individually or collectively as a hunk. Recent damning report by the Comptroller and Audit General (CAG) that our hunk lost approx., eight trillion schillings–even if it is dafu, or call it junk status sort of currency–left me shocked so as to wonder even more. Such a humongous amount is not joke dosh. I was shocked beyond grasp to underscore that an ever-begging hunk extended generous tax exemptions worth 8tn in just five years. Who are these buggers–be they supremos or small fish–that committed this sacrilege; and what’s the govt waiting for to have them apprehended and let them rot behind bars?

As per boozers’ experience, such dosh we lost to dubious tax exemptions can buy 30 Airforce ones or construct Obama’s 100 White houses. So, too, this dosh can construct our 1,000 Ikulus. Furthermore, such dosh can build a bridge from Dar to Zenj; or fill Mtera Dam with kanywaji which can make fish and all humans around it get free kanywaji forever. In other words, such dosh can purchase tones of ganja that can run all smokers in the hunk forever. Importantly, such dosh can buy the Garden of Eden or turn Dar si Salaama into Dubai if not Panama City or London.

The first thing boozers anxiously want to know is; who committed such a sacrilege. Boozers are baying for the blood of the villains. They’d like to drink somebody’s blood. So, too, the boozers want to know the beneficiaries of this mass murder resulting from toxic-tax exemptions so that they can chew their flesh if not setting them on fire like vibakas. The major question one can ask is: Who bewitched Bongo that offers tax holidays to thieves while boozers are dying of treatable and preventable diseases apart from going without food even kanywaji? The biz of wondering doesn’t end up thither. You wonder to hear some politicos praising the regime that committed all these sacrilegious things instead of throwing its heads behind bars so that it can be a lesson to their accomplices.

Boozers are openly telling Dr Jon Wine Mugful to waste no time or look around trying to find boils aka jipus to cleanse. Bongo is now inundated and pregnant with jipus almost everywhere. We’d like to see him taking on such putas and buggers who authored this calamity for five years. We can give him the hunch. While we’re speaking about tax exemptions, there’s this oil saga whereby the hunk consumed illegally-imported oil for five years thanks to turning oil meters off. Such a crime can’t be committed by small fish. This obviously is a dirty job of sharks especially in the state house. This is why the right binadam to be squeezed if not queried is Jack Kiquette with his lieutenants who are said to be stinking rich thanks to such deals that left boozers imperiled and left out.

While Dr Mugful has–for a long time since coming to power–been witch-hunting and whitewashing, now boozers want him to not waste time on hidden jipus while cancerous ones are left to thrive and claim more victims. How do you waste–for instance–time on pending case on tax evasion that’s worth just one trillion while there’s a cool eight trillions? Simple, if Mugful means biz, he must re-audit all beneficiaries; and force them to cough our dosh back then proceed to the dungeon. Five years isn’t a long time to trace. It is easy to know who benefitted and who helped him or her. This is the only scientific way of taking on mega graft. If Mugful doesn’t know the culprits, he’d ask the CAG to issue him a list that he’d not sit on like Jake.

The last and worst thing, any sane human including boozers can do is offering tax exemptions and proceed on self-dressing down begging. All those who committed this crime must be mentally sick; thus insane. There’s the only way to cure such stupid gorillas; send them to Ukonga. This is when and where my appeal for apprehending and jailing chaps like Jake kicks in. I, therefore, think; Dr Kanywaji won’t budge or offer any hoo-ha vis-à-vis putting screws on such buggers. Club them like a baby seal. Essentially, the eight-trillion dent informs, and reminds us of the necessity-cum-importance of amending our constitution to see to it that we don’t vote mentally-sick people in the highest office in the land.

In sum, any sane hunk with sane citizenry especially its head, can’t spare all those pooches and foxes that offered toxic tax exemptions while boozers are suffering like nobody’s business. Essentially, what these goons did is nothing but gang raping our hunk. Tuwachome moto if needs be.

Source: Guardian.

Japo si kawaida yake kuanzisha mada, leo Mchunguliaji kaamua kuvunja mwiko. Ameinigia akiwa amenunua gazeti lake mwenyewe. Kila mmoja anashangaa kunani leo. Baada ya kuamkua, anabwaga gazeti mezani na kusema, “Wazee mnaona tunavyoliwa twajiona kama mataahira?”

“Mnaliwa wewe na nani, vipi na nani anayewala na anawala vipi na kwanini awafanyie hivyo usawa huu?” Mbwamwitu anauliza kama kawa kwa utani wake.

Mchunguliaji anaonekana yuko serious. Anajibu, “Tunaliwa sisi sote wadanganyika na wale tuliowaamini ofisi zetu.” Anamgeukia Mbwamwitu na kuendelea, “Kwanza soma gazeti kaka usidhani natania au nataka kutukana.”

Kabla ya kuendelea Mgosi Machungi aliyekuwa ameishaanza kufura anakula mic, “Sasa timekueewa. Sema tinaibiwa siyo kuiwa. Maana kuiwa tusi tena kubwa tu. Hakuna anayemla mwenzie hapa bai kuibiana. Kama ni kuiwa basi sisi ndiyo tinapaswa kuwaa hao wanaotiibia.”

Msomi Mkatatamaa anaona kuwa hali yaweza kuwa tete. Anaamua kutia guu, “Kimsingi, mnachogombea ni kitu kidogo. Kuibiwa na kuliwa vyaweza kuwa sawa. Kwani anayekuibia anakula jasho lako. Hivyo, anakula wewe japo si kwa maana mnayodhamiria wengine hapa. Basi kuepuka utata tuseme wanaotuua au kutuibia.”

Kapende anakula mic, “Nakubaliana nawe Msomi. Nadhani hapa si kupoteza muda kwenye lugha au maneno ya kutumia. Tunapaswa kujadili ujambazi huu ambao nami nshausoma na kuudhiwa nao kiasi cha kutamani kula nyama ya gendaeka na kushushia na damu yake.”

“Kwa nanna hii wanioliwa ni wale waniotuibia yakhe. Basi tuseme wanioliwa siyo sisi tunioibiwa bali hawa waniotuibia wakaficha ughaibuni wakaishia kuliwa na mabenki ya ughaibuni tokana na kujua ujuha wao. Huoni yanivyoanza kuwachoma?”
Mbwamwitu anauliza, “Eti yanawachoma! Hii kali kumbe wanachomwa japo wakiwa hapa wanajifanya wajanja siyo wakati wachomwa siyo?”

Mipawa amchomekea Mbwamwitu, “Heri wachomwe hapa hapa duniani. Je wanasababisha vifo vya wachovu wangapi? Hawa nao ni majipu wazi kwa Dokta Kanywaji Kutumbua. Tunangoja kusikia tamko lake juu yao.”

Da Sofia Lion aka Kanungaembe anaamua kutia guu, “Siamini kama huko wanachomwa. Heri tuwachome moto wenyewe badala ya kuhangaika na vibaka waliotengenezwa na hawa majambazi wakubwa. Tena ukiona orodha yao huwezi hata kuamini. Ama kweli alijisemea babu yao mzee Ruxa kuwa kaya hii ni kichwa alichokigeuza cha mwendawazimu walevi kujifunzia kunyoa!”

“Sijui naye amekwapua na kuficha kiasi gani kwenye usawa huu ambapo kila mkubwa na mchukuaji anajitahidi kuhomola na kuficha ughaibuni. Maana wachukuaji wengi hapa kayani ni magabacholi tena tangu enzi za mzee Mchonga. Sijui hapa kama Riz na dingi wake watapona.” Anachomekea Mijjinga.

Mgosi anamgeukia Kanji na kusema, “Naona wengi waioficha njuuku ughaibuni ni magabachoi. Hebu tiezee tieewe. Kanji umeficha kiasi gani na wapi? Maana naona magabachoi wanatia foa kwei kwei kwenye uhujumu uchumi na ujambazi huu. Hapa azima tinyonge kenge na ngedere hawa wasio na haya waa huuma kwa umma wa wachovu.”

Kanji ambaye hakuwa akitegemea swali hili anaonyesha kustuka. Anaamua kujitetea, “Kwani ni hindi pekee naficha jukuku ghaibuni? Mbona iko hata Swahili tena yenye weo kubakuba na zungu mingi dugu yangu? Veve onea mimi bure. Iko sikini kama veve dugu yangu. Hapana jua kuwa hindi tajir hapa kunywa gahawa hapa dugu yangu? Hindi tajiri hapana panga jumbani ya Swahili kama mimi. Yeye iko panga jumba ya sajili bana.”

“Yakhe Kanji hapa wallahi wankata! Yashangaza sana kuona kuona baadhi ya walotuhumiwa na kuthibitika wameficha njuluku ghaibu bado wako mjengoni tena wakipewa nyadhifa za juu tu kana kwamba ni watu. Wakamatwe na kunyongwa mbwa hawa ili liwe somo kwa majambazi wengine kama wao,” anajibu Mpemba huku akisogeza karibu kikombe chake.

Msomi aliyekuwa akidurusu gazeti vizuri anaamua kurejea, “Nadhani tungemuuliza mzee Mpayukaji tuliyemtuma Panama atupe majina zaidi ili kijiwe kikae na kuyapitia na ushahidi wake halafu tuanze kumbana mbavu Dk Kanywaji awachukulie hatua husika hawa majambazi wa wazi. Bila kuwakamata na ikiwezekana–kama umma wa waathirika utataka wanyongwe–atapoteza imani ya umma bila sababu. Hapa lazima aende mbele. Apitie na kurekebisha mikataba ya uwekezaji ambayo kimsingi ndicho chanzo kizuri cha fedha hii inayofichwa ughaibuni. Pia azidi kukaza Kamba kwenye ukusanyaji kodi na kupiga marufuku misamaha ya kodi wakati akitafuta namna ya kuongea na mamlaka husika ughaibuni kurejesha njuluku yetu.”

Anakohoa na kuendelea, “Sina shaka hata kabla ya kusikiliza taarifa za Dokta Mpayukaji, hawa walioruhusu jinai hii kwa kushindwa kumilki madaraka yao nao watakuwa na njuluku ughaibuni. Ushahidi wa kimazingira unasema hivyo. Kwani walifanya hivyo kama biashara iliyowaingizia kipato kwa kuuibia na kuuhujumu umma. Hapa lazima hata wale wezi wa Kiwila, UDA na madudu mengine wachunguzwe kwa jicho kali na umakini.”

Kijiwe kikiwa kinanoga si likapita shangingi la gabacholi Josefuali Manjii! Acha tulitoe mkuku ili tumtoe na kumfanyia kitu mbaya. Bahati yake dereva wake aliamua kututimlia vumbi vinginevyo sasa angekuwa anauguza maumivu baada ya kumuangukia kipopo kama siyo kumfanyia kitu mbaya.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Kisa cha hivi karibuni cha afande mmoja kukataa kunyanyaswa kwa mjuba na limbukeni mmoja kutaka kutumia ukubwa wa bedroom, kimenilazimisha kuandika makala hii. Kwa wasiojua inshu nzima ni kwamba huko Namanga jijini Dar-Si-Salama, mke mmoja wa waziri mwandamizi alitoa mpya alipojifanya waziri eti kwa vile mumewe ni waziri. Kama unataka ukubwa si ugombee hata ule ubunge wa vitu vya dezo ambao umezua kasheshe mjengoni hivi karibuni baada ya mwishiwa mmoja ambaye akina mother walimwita teja kuwaita babies bimana wanabebwa na kubembezwa ili kupata ulaji.

Bila aibu wala kutumia chembe ya akili, bi waziri alitaka kumdhalilisha afande pale alipomdaka dereva wake baada ya kusimama kwenye mstari wa pundamilia ambao ni kuvukia walevi asijue ndata naye anajua mipaka ya ulaji wake! Afande alipoamua kutimiza wajibu wake, acha bi mkubwa huyu–mshamba na dandizi, bila shaka–amporomoshee mvua ya matusi. Maskini bi mkubwa huyu alisahau kuwa utawala wa familia uliisha zamani kayani pale Njaa Kaya alipotimka kwa aibu! Alisahau kuwa tangu rais Joni Kanywaji Makufuli aingie madarakani, hatujasikia Makufuli junior, NGO ya bi mkubwa wake wala kaka au mdogo wake akigombea ulaji chamani.

Kwa vile baadhi ya wake za mawaziri–japo si wote–wanapenda kubembea kwenye migongo ya walume wao, basi wake za mawaziri waitwe mawazira huku wake wa wabunge wakiitwa wabunga. Niliwahi kupendekeza mke wa rais aitwe raisa

pale bi Njaa Kaya alipoanza kupokelewa mikoani kama rais mwenyewe. Namshukuru subhanna Janet wetu siyo limbukeni na dandizi kama waliomtangulia ambao sasa wamedoda kama kiporo.

Kilichonifurahisha ni kitendo adhimu na cha haki cha Dk Kanywaji kumpandisha cheo afande aliyefuata sheria bila kujali ukubwa au ujinga wa mke wa waziri. Sijui kama mulume wa bi huyu limbukeni angeukwaa urahis angenyodoa vipi? Ama kweli God is not Mlevi! Thankful, hakupenya. Nashangaa kusikia eti rahis amemuonya mumewe. Alipaswa amtimue; ili naye aumie na kumpa talaka kidhabi huyu. Mbona watani zangu wanyalukolo huwa hawana ushamba na ushambenga kama huu au bi huyu anatoka milimani kwa wavijivuni? Kama unataka uwaziri si ugombee ubunge na rahis akuteue uwe waziri unyodoke. Ni ushamba, ulimbukeni na kujilisha pepo kiasi gani kutumia ile hali ya kushea bedroom na waziri kujiona–na kutaka, bila stahiki yoyote haya ya kibangi–utendewe kama waziri. Tafadhalini msilete mambo ya bedroom kwenye shughuli za umma. Nani alikuapisha wewe bi mkubwa mpenda sifa? Wakati mwingine mnatulazimisha kutumia maneno makali bila sababu. Yaani kila atakayelala na waziri naye anakuwa waziri siyo? Sijui ikitokea waziri akalala na changu nalo lijiite waziri siyo? Huyu dingi ambaye bi mkubwa wake amechemsha na kuboa namheshimu sana. Vinginevyo ningewashauri walevi na wavuta bangi wamuandamanie hadi atumbuliwe.

Kwa vile namfahamu mume wa mama huyu mpenda sifa, nilishangaa hata alivyoweza kuishi ughaibuni ambako haki na sheria ni jambo la kufa na kupona. Ama kweli, baadhi ya viongozi wa wengi wa Kiswahili ni wagumu kujifunza! Mnaleta mambo ya kijima kwenye karne ya 21? Ebo, shame on you na kumbafuni wakumbafu na limbukeni nyie. Madhani uwaziri ni mali ya familia siyo? Gendaeka wengine michosho kweli kweli. Wanakwenda ughaibuni kizurura kila mwaka; lakini bado hawajifunzi kutenda kama watendavyo watasha huko ughaibuni. Mnatuletea ufalme hapa. Go to hell! Nendeni Ghuba ambao ushenzi kama huu ni sehemu ya utamaduni au vipi?

Nilishasema mara nyingi kuwa kaya yetu inaibiwa na hawa wanaojiita watawala. Siku zile nikisoma kule Ukanadani niligundua kuwa anayeendeshwa kayani mle ni waziri mkuu peke yake ambaye ni kama rais wa kaya ile. Waliobaki wote wanaendesha ndinga zao wenyewe. Sasa nashangaa kusikia eti na mke wa waziri, vitegemezi vyake, baba yake, mama yake, hata mashoga wa bi mkubwa wake wana madereva na anayelipa ni mlipa kodi mlevi!

Uibiaji walevi haushii hapa. Kila waziri ana mlinzi, mtunza bustani, mpishi na makandokando mengine. Toka hapo shuka kwa wakuu wa wizara, manaibu waziri, wakuu wa mikoa, wakuu wa wilaya na walaji wengine ambao nao wana madereva wao na makandokando mengine kiasi cha kuwalewesha hata wake na ndugu zao kudhani nao ni mawaziri. Ama kweli wahenga walisema kuwa mbwa wa mfalme naye ni mfalme wa mbwa wote. Je namna hii tutafika? Nauliza kwa ulevi na mibangi yangu. Hata hivyo, mimi kuwa rahis wa walevi, huwa siruhusu bi mkubwa wangu kujipatia ujiko kwa kutumia cheo changu. Wanaofanya hivyo nao ni majipu lazima dokta Kanywaji awatumbue badala ya kuwaonya. Hivi huyu afande angemuonea mke wa waziri angeonywa au kuonyeshwa mlango? Huko siendi sana leo.

Nimalizie kwa kuwaonya wote wenye mtindio wa ubongo na ulimbukeni kutaka kutumia nyadhifa za walume au ndugu zao wakome na kukomaa. Vinginevyo nitawachomea kwa Dk Kanywaji–ambaye mar azote huwa anasikiliza kuliko hata Makondakonda–awatumbue kabla ya walevi hawajawatokea na michupa ya mupipi na vipisi vya bange.

Chanzo: Nipashe.

Hali ya upungufu na ulanguzi wa sukari unaolikabili taifa imezua maswali mengi kuliko majibu. Wapo wanaomlaumu rais John Pombe Magufuli kwa kuchukua hatua kali ambazo zimewaathiri wafanyabiashara waliozea kuuza sukari ya bei nafuu waliyokuwa wakiiagiza toka nje hata “kama imeisha muda wa matumizi” kama alivyowahi kusema rais Magufuli. Wafanyabiashara hawa fisadi na waroho waliamua kufanya hivyo ili kupata faida ya haraka haraka hata kama ni kwa kuhatarisha afya za walaji ukiachia mbali kuua viwanda na kilimo cha miwa nchini. Ni ajabu kwa nchi yenye viwanda vinne vya sukari kuagiza sukari nje huku wakulima wakikosa pa kuuza miwa yao. Huu ni uhujumu wa uchumi. Hakuna jina jingine stahiki linaweza kutumika kuelezea jinai hii iliyotokana na uwepo wa serikali fisadi na legelege ambayo wafanyabiashara waroho wachache walikuwa wameiweka mifukoni na kuitumia kama kijiko kuchotea utajiri bila kutoa jasho.

Hata hivyo, wapo wanaolaumu hata bila kunagalia upande wa pili wa taifa na watu wake. Wao wanaangalia uwekezaji na faida zake bila kuangalia hasara na madhara kwa walaji hasa wananchi hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa awamu mbili zilizopita ziliingia mikataba ya kijambazi kwenye uwekezaji karibu katika sekta zote. Hili nalo ni jipu kwa Magufuli kutumbua ili kurejesha nchi katika mstari kama alivyoahidi kwenye kampeni za uchaguzi uliomuingiza madarakani.

Wanaomlaumu Magufuli wanasahau kuwa yeye si wa kwanza kuchukua hatua kama anazochukua ili kulinda afya, uhai na uchumi wa mtanzania. Mchezo wa wafanyabiashara kuficha bidhaa ili wawalangua walaji umekuwapo tangu enzi za awamu ya kwanza ambapo marehemu baba wa taifa akishirikiana na waziri wake mkuu marehemu Edward Sokoine walimua kuwakamata walanguzi na waficha bidhaa tena bila kutoa onyo kama ambavyo Magufuli amekuwa akifanya. Tuwakumbushe ambao hawakuwapo wala hawajui kilichotokea. Waziri mkuu Sokoine siku chache kabla ya kuaga dunia hapo Machi 7, 1983 alikaririwa akisema “Tumeruhusu Walanguzi na Wahujumu Uchumi kuongoza nchi. Wananchi wamefika mahali ambapo wanashindwa kutofautisha kati ya viongozi wa chama (CCM) na Serikali na Walanguzi na Wahujumu uchumi wa nchi.” Haya ni maneno ya kamanda aliyeongoza vita dhidi ya uhujumu uchumi uliokuwa ukifanywa kwa kuficha bidhaa ili kuwalangua walaji kama ilivyo sasa. Hivyo, kwa kutoa historia hii kidogo, angalau tunaweza kudurusu nini kifanyike na kwanini.

Aliyekuwa mwenyekiti wa Chama Cha Wananchi (CUF) Profesa Ibrahim Lipumba alikaririwa akisema, “Kauli ya serikali ya kuzuia utolewaji wa vibali vya uingizwa wa sukari kutoka nje ndiyo iliyosababisha upungufu wa sukari, asiuaminishe umma kuwa sababu ni wafanyabiashara kuficha sukari.” Lipumba kama mchumi aliliangalia sakata la sukari kiuchumi hasa uchumi wenyewe wa kiliberali mamboleo ambao haujali umma bali faida. Alimlaumu rais huku akijipinga kwa kusema, “Ingawa utolewaji wa vibali utaathiri viwanda vya ndani kutokana na kushindwa kushindana na wafanyabiashara, ni vema serikali ikatoa vibali kwa watu wote,” hii kauli ni tata. Kwanini Lipumba hakueleza ni kwanini viwanda vya ndani vilishindwa kushindana na vya nje? Jibu liko wazi kuwa wakulima wengi ambapo sukari inaagizwa–tena ambayo inakaribia kuisha muda wake–wanakuwa wameishapata chao. Isitoshe nchi kama Brazil ambako sukari nyingi inaagizwa–licha ya kuwa ya bei ndogo tokana na kukaribia kuisha muda wa matumizi–ina fuko maalum kusaidia sekta ya kilimo na ufugaji. Mfano, kwa mujibu wahttp://thehandthatfeedsus.org/index.cfm, mwaka 2008/09 wakulima na wafugaji nchini huko walipata jumla ya dola za kimarekani 38 billioni kwa ajili ya kuwawezesha kupata mikopo na usaidizi mwingine. Hivyo, hata bila kuuza sukari iliyokaribia kuisha muda wake, wakulima wa Brazil hawawezi kushindana na wetu. Si hilo tu, Brazil haiuruhusu ushindani anaoutetea Lipumba inapokuja kwenye zao kama sukari inalozalisha kwa wingi duniani.

Wanaomlaumu Magufuli wanamuonea tu ima kwa sababu za kisiasa au ugumu wa kuelewa kama si kuwa watetezi wa wafanyabiashara wahujumu uchumi wanaoficha sukari ili wawalangue wananchi. Kama watakumbuka jinsi Magufuli alivyosema wazi wazi kuwa anatarajia kujenga Tanzania ya viwanda vikubwa na vya kati, watakubaliana nasi kuwa hawezi kufanya hivyo bila kulinda viwanda vilivyopo ili kutoa motisha kwa wengine kuanzisha viwanda. Kimsingi, wakosoaji wa Magufuli wanapaswa kukubali na kufahamu kuwa zoezi hili litakuwa na mauvimivu kidogo kabla ya mambo kutulia na watu wakafuata sheria na kutengeneza faida kwa kufuata sheria.

Ukiachia sukari inayoagizwa kutoka nje japo si yote kuwa ya bei nafuu kutokana na kununuliwa kwa bei nafuu ima kutokana na ubora wake au hali ya wakulima huko itokako, si siri kuwa wafanyabiashara wengi nchi walikuwa wamezoea kuingiza bidhaa na kufanya biashara bila kulipa kodi inavyostahili. Hivyo, ujio wa Magufuli umewapunguzia faida ya haraka haraka kiasi cha kuwachukiza. Hawaendekezi kama seriakali mbili zilizopita ambazo hazikukusanya kodi ukiachia mbali kutoa misamaha kibao ya kodi. Kama watanzania tunataka kujenga taifa la viwanda, hatuna budi kuweka uzalendo mbele badala ya kulaumulaumu hata mahali pasipohitaji lawama.

Tumalizie kwa kusema kuwa wanaomlaumu Magufuli kwa uhaba wa sukari ni kama wanamuonea badala ya kutoa mchango wa nini kifanyike. Suala la sukari haliwezi kuachwa liendelea bila utatuzi huku walaji wakilanguliwa na kuuziwa bidhaa mbovu na hatari kwa afya zao. Hili liko wazi;na halihitaji utaalamu wala ubobezi.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Since getting at the helms, with his crown jewels, “Hapa Kazi Tu” slogan and “Boil Cleansing” philosophy, President Dr. John ka-Drink Mugful’s credibly attracted many boozers who seem to cotton onto his style of doing things; however not all. They rely on and trust him to deliver them from the abyss of corruption that our hunk has become after mzee Mchonga exited politics over three decades ago. This became evident after Mugful stated seriously that he’d not make do with graft, nihilism, and other vices that bedogged the hunk for over three decades. The oft-made vows in his speeches show him as a no-nonsense person. Here’s the thing. Nowadays, the mere mention of his name scares the pants off of corrupt officials. The la-di-da way of doing things boozers were used to seems to have changed now. This is why boozers hope that he’ll remedy them by retrieving their houses fisadis took.

Despite doing all wonderful things, Mugful still has some skeletons in the closet, especially; arguably, boozers’ houses that Dungong Ben Makapi robbed. We all know that when these houses were grabbed, Mugful was in the cabinet. Thus, he is a part and parcel of the whole crime. Boozers think that by that time he didn’t have wherewithal to stop the deal as a mere minister. Dr. Mugful can simply tell all he knows about house grabbing even if doing so would implicate him. By doing so, he’ll prove his innocence so as to be pardoned so that he can go on taking on these who actually engineered and executed the scheme. Moreover, to do away with this imbroglio, Mugful needs to make sure that all Political mongrels, morons, Godzillas and humanzees are behind bars after all ill-gotten wealth in their hands being confiscated. He’d do away with CCM’s shibboleth and hanky-panky of huyu ni mwenzetu. These houses that Mkapa’s regime robbed us were built by our back-breaking labour though were robbed under the veneer of their ephemeral power. They robbed our houses like nobody’s business while they knew how many public workforces don’t have enough and worthy accommodation.

Surely, Mugful know the whole saga. Boozers think that this childish theft offends him so as to abhor it. Boozers know too well; when this crime was committed, Mugful was there. Again, he didn’t have guts or power constitutionally to take on it. Boozers know. He was aggrieved when he witnessed this criminality. Now that he’s power and what it takes, they think: It is suitable time for Mugful to prove how trustworthy and clean he is. Why should he dog and dent his reputation protecting stupid, myopic, greedy and venal rulers who didn’t see the future despite the fact that the writings were on the wall for them to read? Everybody will carry his cross. These thieves are lucky. If mzee Mchonga were still alive, I’m sure they’d not have succeeded in grabbing our houses as easy as they did.

Though boozers are not trying to test his mettle, they still remember how he’s oft-asked everybody to furnish him with info so that he can take on graft. This is the info. Boozers are mincing no words. They plainly and quickly need their houses that Mkapa’s venal regime robbed. They know and trust Dr Mugful that he’ll return their house. He’s been in the upper echelons of power for over 20 years. He, thus, knows everything. Boozers know that Mugful knows the number of the houses, where they are and who allocated them to themselves and the throw-away prices they paid in this theft. Boozers’ houses are the very visible boils for Dr Mugful to pierce and clean kavu kavu without looking at the faces or size of the monkeys behind this criminality. That day I’ll be the happiest to hear him giving stats on the number, size and state of the said house.

As he braces himself to take and bring boozers’ houses back, Mugful should do the following:

1) He must make public his plans about retrieving all houses that were vended illegally throughout the hunk.

2) He’d form a taskforce that’ll look into the whole issue and come up with findings and proposals that will also be made public.

3) He’d make sure that all culprits are charged under the sabotage of economy law without looking at their standing in the society.

4) The names of the culprits should be made public by being gazette in all media.

5) He’d not offer any clemency whereby culprits to relinquish the said houses just like Kiquette did to his EPA colleagues.

Today we’re not going to write a missive a usual. Instead, we are going to research as to how many houses were grabbed and who grabbed them so that we can furnish Dr Mugful with the info he’ll use to top up to what he’s already have to take on these kumbaffs.

Source: Guardian.

Baada ya rais Dokta Joni Kalaji Makufuli kumpiga kalamu mlevi mmoja aliyekuwa amefanikiwa kujichomeka kwenye safu yake, Kijiwe hakikumuacha aende hivi hivi bila angalau kumzomea japo kiduchu tu. Japo Mipawa huwa si muanzishaji wa inshu, leo ndiye anaingiza mada hii tena akisikitika ikizingatiwa kuwa mzee huyu wa kutwanga ulabu ni mwishiwa wa jimbo lake huko makwao.

Mipawa analianzisha, “Wazee mmeona jinsi huyu muishiwa wa jimbo langu Chaz Kitawangaji kanywaji alivyonitutia aibu? Natamani nimkamatage na kumraba vichwa kama siyo bakora. Nadhani saa hizi waliomnyima kura mheshimiwa Mijjinga na kumpatia yeye wanajilaumu. ”
Mijjinga anamnyang’anya Mipawa mic, “Pole sana ndugu yangu.Tuache utani. Tangu ilipofumka kashfa ya Ligumi, Kitwangwa Kanywaji alikuwa amekalia kutika kavu hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa kama muathirika anayengojea saa na sekunde za kufungashiwa virago.” Anapiga chafya na kuendelea, “Uzuri ni Kwamba, sasa Kitwanga ameamua kujitwanga mwenyewe tena kitoto na kijinga hivi. Sijui huyu jamaa amesomea nini na wapi kiasi cha kujisahau kiasi hiki?”

Mbwamwitu anamchomekea,”Nasikia ni mtaalamu wa makompyuta usipime. Si ndiyo maana alianzisha Infyosys na kuwaajili akina Ligumi huku yeye akijificha nyuma ya pazia huku akiwasukumia tenda.”

Mgosi Machungi anakamua mic huku akitabasamu, “Huyu hata kama amesomea makompyuta aishindwa kutumia akii. Hapa nazani aitumia akii ya ooboti siyo ya binadamu. Tutajuaje kama hakufoji kama iivyozoeeka kwa vigogo? Aizani kuwa bado kaya hii iko mikononi mwa muevi asijue Dk Kanywaji achiia mbali kunywa, haonji. Sasa ataijua dunia. Sijui atawambia nini wae waiomkopesha kua zao akaishia kuwadhaiisha kwa kupiga mma.”

Msomi Mkatatamaa anaamua kutia guu, “Hapa lazima tu mpongeze dokta Kanywaji kwa kumtwanga huyu mtwangaji wa kanywaji ili aendeke akalewe vizuri huku akiwaachia wenye uwezo wa kupiga mzigo wapige mzigo kwenda mbele. Kimsingi, bado tuna walevi wengi kwenye ofisi za umma. Maana ukiangalia hata hawa wanaoficha sukari bila shaka ni walevi wa utajiri ambao mwisho wao unaweza kuwa mbaya kwao kwa wanavyohujumu kaya. Hata hawa wanaogeuza bunge kuwa uwanja wa mipasho wamelewa u-mwenzetu wa Chama Cha Mafisadi (CCM) nao wanapaswa kutumbuliwa tu.”

Mheshimiwa Bwege anakula mic, “Nakuunga mkono mheshimiwa Msomi. Kimsingi, kaya hii ilipokuwa chini ya utawala wa kilevi, kila mlevi alijiona mjanja asijue siku zao zilikuwa kikiheshabika.Je wangapi watafuata? Unaingia kwenye mjengo mtukufu kitukutu halafu unategemea upone siyo? Mie nadhani hata wanaoleta bejeti feki zenye kutaka fedha kwa mambo ambayo yalishangetengewa fedha ni majipu na wanapaswa kutumbuliwa kwani wanatuibia kila mwaka.”

Kanji anakamata mic, “Hata mimi hapana penda ile pasho napasa kwa bungeni na hishiwa. Kama nakwenda kwa mjengoni napaswa veve fanya kazi ya vananchi nakopesa veve kula siyo kufanya pasho.”

Kapende anatia guu, “Nasikia jamaa alikuwa amekunya pombe aina ya Lingumi ambayo siku hizi inawasumbua waishiwa wengi Njengoni. Hata hivyo, mie nampongeza Kitwanga–kwa kuutwanga kabla hajatwangwa–kwa kujionesha alivo wa hovyo ili wale walonchagua waandae ntu mwingine wa kuwawakilisha ili huyu apate fursa ya kwendalewa atakavo. Sijui akina Jan Makambale walioguswa na kashfa ya kutumia dada zao kula njuluku za watasha wanangoja nini?”

Sofia Lion aka Kanungaembe anakula mic, “Huyu Dokta Kanywaji kwanini anapendelea. Sijui kwanini hamtumbui Meeki Sidi Sadiq ambaye swahiba yake Kabwela alirejesha namba hivi majuzi. Sijui anangoja nini baada ya kufumka kashfa ya Kituo cha Mangwala ngwala ya mikoani pale Ubungo?”

Msomi anarejea, “Acha Kitwanga aende akautwange mma ili uchaguzi ujao wapika kula yake wamuulize ni kwanini alithamini ulabu kuliko wao waliokuwa wamempa ulaji.Natamani Dk Kanywaji aende kinyume nyume na kuwatumbua majipu kama Prof J’4 Majembe walioua ilm yetu chini ya Njaa Kali Kikwekwe.”

Kabla ya kuendelea Mpemba anakula mic tena, “Yakhe kuna jamaa moja alintonya kuwa huyu Kitwanga aliupiga chakari na kuondoka kwenye baa na kwenda kwenye nyumba ndogo kutwanga asijue naye atatwangwa! Maskini ulaji wa dezo sasa umtoka huku akiregea benchi. Wallahi ingekuwa miye, ningejiuzulu hata uhishimiwa kwa vile mimi ni muishiwa.”

Mzee Maneno anakula mic, “Nashangaa ni kwanini hata yule waziri ambaye bi mkubwa wake alimtolea nyodo afande kwanini hakufutwa kazi ili akampe twalaka vizuri baada ya kumsababishia kutemwa kwenye ulaji. Kuna kazi kweli kweli. Mmeona pale uwanja wa ndege jinsi wanaizaya walivyokuwa wakimdanganya rahis kuhusiana na kuharibika kwa mitambo ya kukagulia mizigo. Sijui kwanini hajawatumbua!”

Mijjinga anaamua kutia guu tena,”Usinikumbushe huu upuuzi wa juzi pale Uwanja wa Ndege wa Mzee Mchonga. Nilikuwapo pale. Kwa macho yangu nilishuhudia mijitu mizima ikongopa utadhani inamuongopea mtoto. Kuna wauza unga ninaowajua ambao hupitisha bwibwi pale kama bangi toka bara na kusambaza hapa bongo kabla ya kuexport nje. Ama kweli cha mlevi huliwa na mgema!”

Kijiwe kikiwa kinanoga si akapita Kitwanga akiwa ameutwanga! Acha tumpe kampani kwa kumzomea kabla ya kuanguka mtaroni. Sijui kama alinusurika bila kufanyiwa kitu mbaya kwa kuangusha gari vile!

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

A victim of xenophobic attack in India

African envoys in India decided to bring what seemed to be technically swept under the rug. They decided to call a spade a spade after deciding to alert their governments not to send more African students to India. It is abhorring to note that since british colonial monsters brought these guys, they have always discriminated against africans. foolishly though, our corrupt rulers allowed them to get away with murder. Africa need to think twice; and if possible boycott everything indian as a sign of reciprocity. For more info CLICK HERE

Zamani nikisikia ule mpasho wa viumbe wazito ni kama ulikuwa unapiga chenga. Nilidhani ni mipasho ya akina mama nisijue kuwa baadaye mpasho huu utakuwa na mantiki kwa kaya yetu. Mwanzoni nilidhani viumbe wazito ni majini au mashangingi nisijue siyo. Juzi kwa– mara ya kwanza na kwa macho yangu tena bila kulewa wala kuvuta–niliwaona viumbe wazito pale uwanja wa Ndege wa Mzee Mchonga walipoumbuliwa na rais Dokta Joni Kanywaji Mkufuli.

Ama kweli duniani kuna viumbe wachokozi wanaopaswa kuchokonolewa kujua wanajiamini nini. Tabia mojawapo ya viumbe wazito ni kutobadilika. Wamezoea kufanya mambo ya hovyo na hovyo hovyo na kwao ndivyo ilivyo hata kama mambo yenyewe wanafanya ndivyo sivyo. Wamezoea kiasi cha kuwa vigumu kubadilika bila kutumbuliwa. Pamoja na ujanja na kiburi changu, sikuamini kuwa kuna watu na akili zao wangefikiria–achilia mbali kutenda–kumdanganya dokta Kanywaji. Mnamdanganya dokta Kanywaji tena mbele ya kamera bila hata chembe ya aibu! Yaani mnamwambia kuwa mimashini ya kufichulia mabomu inafanya kazi wakati ilijifia miaka kumi iliyopita! Hakuna kilichoniacha hoi kama ukweli kufichuka baada ya kimbembe pale Dokta Kanywaji alipotaka mashine ziwashe na zikawashwa na kuonyesha zisivyofanya kazi. Kana kwamba haitoshi, alipouliza ziliharibika lini alipata majibu matatu ambayo ni majipu si majibu kitu. Kwani muongo wa kwanza alimwambia kuwa mashine zilikuwa zimeharibika zaidi ya mwaka mmoja. Muongo wa pili alimwambia kuwa ilikuwa imeharibika kama miezi minne iliyopita huku muongo wa mwisho akimwambia kuwa ilikuwa na wiki moja tu tangu iharibike. Hadi dokta Kanywaji anaondoka hakujua mashine zilikuwa zimeharibika lini na kwanini zaidi ya kuharibiwa au tuseme kuhujumiwa.

Hawa wanaizaya wana bahati. Sijui kwanini hajawatumbua pale pale kavu kavu kama alivyowafanyia akina Kimlango! Wana bahati ya mtende. Ingekuwa zama zangu ningeita ndata na kuhakikisha wanafungwa pingu na kwenda kunonihino kwenye debe. Mijitu mizima inaongopa tena bila hata ya kupepesa macho! Baya zaidi inamudanganya mkuu wa kaya kana kwamba ni kidhabi yule yule viliyezoea akipita pale kwenda kuzurura na kuwapungia mikono akikenua huku kaya ikiliwa!

Kwanza, nilinusa harufu ya ukabila pale. Karibu majina yote ya akina Rweyungayunga na Rweshomashoma. Kwanini majina ya wanene wa vitengo ile yawa ya akina nshomile tu kama hakuna namna? Japo mzee Mchonga alijenga kaya isiyo na ukabila–kama ufisadi,na uhalifu mwingine kayani vinavyoongezeka–ukabila nao unaonekana kurejea kwa mlango wa nyuma. Hili nalo ni jipu na nadhani ndiyo chanzo kizuri cha watumishi hewa, utegaji, uzembe na ushenzi mwingine vilivyokuwa vimetamalaki kwenye asasi za umma. Kuna haja ya Dokta Kanywaji kuanza kufuatilia ukabila kwenye asasi za umma.

Kwa vile nimegundua kuwa uwanja ule ni mtupu, basi nitaanza dili la kusambaza mihadarati na hata nyara za taifa kabla hawajastuka na kuchukua hatua.Nitakuwa nachukua mirungi yangu toka pale Meru kwa akina Mvaithe na kupitisha Sirari; baada ya kutoka pale Ulenchoka na kujaza mifuko ya Bange then nadandia pipa Musoma na kupitia uwanja wa ndege wa Mchonga bila kukaguliwa. Maana niliona mwenyewe mimashine ilivyohujumiwa kama alijisahau mmoja wa waliomdanganya Dokta Kanywaji alivyosema.

Ili kutengeneza njuluku haraka, lazima nitakuwa nakwenda zangu Maswa na Serengeti kuwinda chui, tembo, faru na kila kinachopita mbele yangu na kusafirisha kuja kuuza Masaki kwa wachina na kutengeneza mshiko kama sina akili. Sina haja ya kujiingiza kwenye biashara uchwara ya kuficha sukari wala mafuta ya kula au bidhaa.

Pia nitafanya utafiti kujua kama uwanja wa ndege wa KIA una upenyo wa kusafirisha wanyama na bange nje. Kama uliweza kusafirisha wanyama hai kama twiga tembo na madude mengine makubwa utashindwa kago yangu siyo? Sijui wale waliosafirisha wanyama wetu umangani nao wameishia wapi maana sisikii wakitumbuliwa? Kama magabacholi wanapitisha tanzanite kila uchao, kwanini nami nisipitishe madude yangu au wataniminyia kwa vile mimi si gabacholi?

Kwa sababu kaya iko uchi tena ni shamba la bibi na kichwa cha mwendawazimu, lazima nichange njuluku haraka haraka na kuwa mmojawapo wa mabilionea vijana toka kaya hii. Hapa bila shaka wahariri wa jarida la mabilionea la Forbes wanisake kama sukari usawa huu. Pia nitachunguza kama waziri wa usafirishaji anautwanga mma kama kitwanga ili niunde kampuni ya Lingumi kuweka vifaa vya kukagulia mizigo viwanja vya ndege ima nilete vibovu au niwaache Solemba kwa kujenge mijumba ya bei mbaya na kununua ndinga za bei mbaya huku nikizungushia mabausa kibao kuonyesha ufalme wangu.

Kitu kingine, nafanya utafiti kujua kama Dokta Kanywaji ana kitegemezi chake ambacho naweza kukitumia kupata tenda.

Kwa vile nataka nitegeneze njuluku kiasi cha kulala maskini na kuamka bilionea, leo sitachonga sana. Nawahi kwenda zangu Kenya kuchukua mirungi na Musoma kuchukua bangi tayari kuanza kufanya majaribio ya utafiti wangu kabla hawajastuka. Hivyo, walevi jiandaeni kupigwa ofa za ulabu za kufa mtu. Niombeeni dua nifanikishe kuvusha madudu yangu ili tusherehekee na kuselebuka kwa njuluku zitokanazo na kaya ya walevi.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

What boozers evidenced recently has forced them to say something.For the first time, boozers are representing themselves after finding their so-called representatives aren't saying what boozers want them to say in the Mjengo.
For example, one fyatu MP alleged that some Special Seat Members of Parliament (SSMPs) are somebodies’ babies to mean they got ulaji through their undies.
So, too, we heard some SSMPs giving a shit the fyatu that called them babies simply because they’re carried on some bigwigs’ shoulders to get where they’re.
Thanks to turning the august house into Mwenge daladala-bus station like, instead of talking about boozers’ glitches, MPs embarked on mipasho for free.
The Mjengo’s become another sort of a fashion, if not, insult pageant. After the powers that be found that such waywardness has become an in-thing, it decided to suspend live coverage of the biz of the Mjengo saying that it was expensive; and that it lulled boozers to waste time watching instead of working.
Again, whether the issue here’s cost or what’s covered or what’s covered up depends on how you look at the whole hooey.
If the thing’s being cost conscious, boozers think, those concerned would have underscored the fact that much dosh is unnecessarily spent on earthlings that only represent their tummies under whatever pretexts including special seats. Are they special seats or special sets?
The other day I was perusing Jamii Forums (October 23, 2011) to find that it quoted the Swahili daily, Habari Leo that also quoted two female MPs saying that sexual briberies are prevalent in our systems including special seats. One of those quoted was Hilda Ngoye (CCM) who said that sexual bribe is rife in the ranks.
The paper went on quoting Margreth Mkanga (CCM) as saying, “What Ngoye said is very correct, there is sexual bribery even for members of parliament. But it also exists in other sectors apart from politics.
People want leadership while they know they have no qualifications and its results they decide to use their bodies.” Such damning words are from the horse’s mouth. So, boozers, such revelations are true and reliable as far as sexual bribery is concerned in our hunk. What truth do we want other than this from the victims themselves?
I’m not making this up. Sexual bribery is rampant in the hunk. This is why unqualified people are appointed to the positions to which they lack merit. How many judges, DCs, RCs, among others, to mention but a few, whom you know?
Sometimes, we need to accept the truth by looking at the problem in eyes instead of ballyhoos and living in a state of denial. I know this truth’s bitter to swallow. To do away with such undesirable situation, boozers think we’d abolish special seats that are now subject to controversy and ridicule.
It’s shameful for the hunk that’s been independent for over five decades to still have preferential seats. Allowing females to become dependent on preferential seats, apart from abusing and misusing them, doesn’t help them.
Instead, it belittles them so much that some fyatus get the ruse of deriding them. Apart from saving public funds, abandoning special seats will force our hunk to create an equal and equitable system of competition between both genders.
By the way, whom are the SSMPs representing apart from those who enabled them to land such ulaji and their own tummies? For, as far as boozers say, there are women, youths, and whatnots–they portend to represent–in the constituencies that are represented by MPs who went through the ballot box.
Additionally, even MPs appointed by Mr Head are representing nobody except their tummies and he who offered them such ulaji.
Just imagine, how much dosh we’re going to save if we rescind controversial Special Seats. How much do we spend on their salaries, remunerations, yum-yum and their oil guzzlers while they’re representing nobody?
To boozers, keeping SSMPs is nothing but to undeservedly have a big government. So, too, rescinding SSs will avert the controversy and dislike such seats invoke before boozers’ eyes who pick up the tab. Who wants do-nothing MPs who represent nobody but themselves?
Suffice to say, recent to-do about SSMPs must act as a reminder that boozers don’t see any logic in retaining such seats of ulaji wa dezo. We must empower ladies so that they can ably compete with dudes instead of duping them with SSs to end up asking sexual bribery from them though not all.
Source: Guadian.

Baada ya muishiwa mmoja aliyewahi kutishia usalama wa uhuru wa vyombo habari kujipayukia akidai wapingaji wana sura mbaya wakati naye msura wake ni huo huo kama ubaya ubaya, kijiwe kimeamua kuja kulaani.

Jamaa huyu aiwaye Jumaaa Mkamia alitoa mpya aliposema, “Sasa nyie mnaoshangilia humu mna sura mbaya na mnatamani kutapika.” Kijiwe kinashangaa mambo ya ubaya na uzuri wa sura yanatafuta nini mjengoni! Kinazidi kukshangaa kwanini njengo umegeuzwa kituo cha daladala bila sababu nuzuhu.

Mgosi Machungi analianzisha, “Wagosi, mnaona hii picha ya jamaa mwenye sua nzui hii hapa toto la kiangi? Wenye kutaka kuwowa jiandaeni mkakague sua. Hao hao!”

Mpemba anamchomekea Mgosi akisema, “Wallahi acha nkuchomekee kabla hujamaliza utamu. Wallahi hili toto la kilangi mie lankata kusema ule ukweli. Sijui si mtoto riziki wala sina habari mie. Maana ukisikiliza anosema ushangaa ulijali wake wallahi. Mambo ya uzuri wa sura na mwanaume wapi na wapi yakhe!”

Mijjinga anakula mic, “Mie simshangai huyu jamaa tangu akiwa waziri mdogo kwenye uhabithi uliopita hasa matamko yake ya kutumia masaburi badala ya kichwa. Hii si mara ya kwanza kulianzisha huyu jamaa. Nadhani tusimlaumu bali wazazi wake waliomlea vibaya. Sasa tazama anawaadhiri ukiachia mbali chata lake.”

Kapende anakatua mic, “ Hata waliomchagua imekula kwao. Bahati yake ni kwamba wengi hawajui mambo yake. Maana wakiyajua mbona hata huo uishiwa atavuliwa asivyo na maadili hata kidogo. Kama anasema wapingaji wana sura nzuri ana matatizo. Sijui kwanini amesahau hata maneno ya baba wa taifa alipoulizwa swali la kijinga kuhusu kinyago chake cha mpapure alipokuwa akipanga kukizungusha kayani mwaka 1995.”

Kabla ya Kapende kuendelea, Mipawa ananyakua mic, “Huyu mkumbaff anayesema wapingaji wana sura mbaya kwani tunatafuta wachumba njengoni au kuna kiti chamwasha kama si kuwa mtoto si riziki hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa siku hizi watu wanaigizi upuuzi huu na kujiona wameendelea. Si atangaze kama akina anti nanihii ili tumjue?”

Msomi Mkatatamaa ankula mic, “Mie simlaumu huyu Mkamua sorry Mkamia. Kwanza, tukumbuke kuwa mjengo ulijifia zamani pale ulipogeuzwa uwanja wa mipasho na wavuta bangi kutumia kiswangilish na lugha nyingine za kihuni. Hamkumsikia yule muishiwa fyatu aliyewapa vipande vyao waishiwa wa dezo kuwa ni ma-mababies wakaamua kumjia juu wakati kuna ukweli ndani ya madai haya? Ukiondoa hawa wanaoambiwa wana sura mbaya, kwangu mjengo hauna tofauti na kituo cha daladala cha Mwenge zama zile. Wamejaa wahuni wanaopaswa kuwa wapiga debe au majogoo lakini si waishiwa.”

Sofia Lion Kanungaembe anakula mic, “Huyu kaka ameingiliwa na nini yarabi! Mbona huko nyuma hakuwa hivi? Analeta uzuri mjengoni asijue wanaweza kumtafsiri vibaya kuwa ana anachotafuta? Kuna haja ya kuwaambia wakubwa zake wamwajibishe na si kumkingia kifua kama bi mdogo Microphone alivyofanya alipoombwa mwongozo wa kutaka kumshughulikia kidhabu huyu.”
“Audhubillahi Miina ashetwain rajiim huyu nsen… alipaswa tolewa ukumbini. Huyu sioni tofauti bainaye na yule Mlemavu nilonsikia juzi akitaka mdandia maalim Seif asijue ule nlima. Waishiwa vibaya hawa. Kama yeye ntoto wa ntu na ana sura nzuri si atulie afaidi hiyo sura yake na vitu vyake yakhe? Ukiwa na sura nzuri shurti uolewe. Si yeye na wanio na sura nzuri aache njengo wetu wende olewa au jiuza Ohio?” analaamika Mpemba huku akibusu kombe lake la gahawa.

Kanji naye hajivungi, “Veve hapana chukia kama mimi. Ile mimi sikia ile tusi tamani ile toto pelekwe Bombei. Kana napenda hiyo kitu naenda Bombei tauzwa arabuni. Kama nafika arabuni naolewa kabisa bila ficha nacheva veve na watu ya arabuni!”

Mheshimiwa Bwege naye anaamua kutia guu, “Kanji kwa mara ya kwanza umenivutia sana.”

Kabla ya kuendelea Mbwamwitu anachomekea, “Wewe! Amekuvitia vipi mbona sikuelewielewi Mheshimiwa? Eti Kanji amekuvutia.!”

Kanji anajitetea, “Veve acha changanya jambo. Mimi hapana vutia kama hii Kamia na sura zuri. Navutia na neno zuri.”

“Ehee! Kumbe hata maneno matamu Kanji unayo! Kweli dunia imefika mbali! Nimevutiwa na maneno yako” Anachomekea Mbwamiwtu.

Mheshimiwa Bwege anaendelea, “Jamani, msigeuze kijiwe kama mjengo wa mipasho. Mie wallaaahi simaanishi mambo ya Mkamia kuhusiana na kuvutiwa na Kanji. Amenivutia kwa kuliona tatizo kama lilivyo na ushauri wake wa kumtaka Mkamia asipate shida wakati watu kama yeye wanaweza kutumika arabuni tena bila ya kulazimika kuwatukana wenzao. Hata kama ana sura nzuri, kwani sura yaliwa na kama alivosema Dk Kapende, kwani tunatafuta nchumba mjengoni au hoja?”

Msomi anarejea, “Mie simkamii wala kumlaumu huyu Mkamiwa. Nalaumu mfumo mbovu wa nambari wani kujaza wahuni mjengoni wasijue wataumbuka. Ukiangalia walivyotamalaki wahuni mjengoni utashangaa tunawkenda wapi. Kuna haja ya kumwambia dokta Kanywaji ayatumbue haya majipu. Nawaonea huruma walipoteza kura zao kuchagua mtoto kama huyu anayekwenda mjengoni kuuza uzuri badala ya kujenga hoja kwa ajili ya maendeleo ya wale waliomkopesha kura.”

Kijiwe kikiwa kinango si likapita shangingi la mtoto mzuri mzuri tuliyeNkamia. Kama si dereva wake kuchanganya wese huenda sasa ashaozeshwa hadharani tena ndoa ya nkeka!

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Naona yule anacheka na kutikisa kichwa hata kabla ya kusoma habari nzima. Usitoe hukumu kwa kusoma kichwa cha habari tu. Don’t judge a book based on the cover dude. Naona yule anasonya akidhani bangi na ulevi sasa vinafikisha pabaya. Kwa taarifa yenu leo sijapata mma wala msokoto. Ndiyo nimeamka toka kitandani ambako niliyofanya usiku hayawahusu. Kwa ufupi mimi ni sober and normal sane na kamili.

Baada ya rais Joni Kanywaji Makomeo kuwa analalamika juu ya hatihati ya maisha yake tokana na wale anaowatumbua majipu kutaka kumdhuru, Mlevi nimejitoa nikiwa na akili zangu timamu, bila kutarajia malipo yoyote wala ujiko na bila kushawishiwa na ngurumbili yoyote kujitoa mhanga kumlinda rais Kanywaji.

Kwanza si vibaya kugusia kidogo juu ya sifa zangu. Nina mkanda wa juu wa karate, gojolyuu na jet kune doo na madudu mengine magumu. Pia nimefanya kozi ya ukomando kwenye kaya ambayo ni top secret kutaja. Ni mlenga shabaha ambaye hajawahi kutokea duniani. Pia nimesomea intelligence, ushushuu na madude mengine ambayo si busara kuyataja dunia nzima. Nina PhD kama kumi kwenye masuala ya ulinzi na usalama bila kusahau ulevi.

Tukiachana na maujiko yangu kwenye madude magumu kuelewa, ngoja twende kwenye mada yenyewe. Rafiki yangu mmoja shushuu amenitonya kuwa kuna gendaeka wenye mipango na nia mbaya wanataka kumfanyia kitu mbaya rais wetu. Ila inaonekana wamesahau kitu kimoja;mabo yamebadilika sana. Bongo ya sasa si ya 1984 alipouawa Eddy Morning Sokoine. This time, these putas and buggers should think twice; and they got it terribly wrong. Walevi hawako tayari kupata hasara nyingine baada ya hii ya Sokoine. Wamenituma niseme bila kumung’unya maneno kuwa atakayemdhuru kipenzi na mkombozi wao Mtumbua Majipu ajue hatafanikiwa. Patachimbika bila jembe; na patakuwa hapatoshi.

Walevi wamechoka kuona kaya yao ikigeuzwa kichwa cha mwendawazimu na shamba la chizi. Hivyo, wale waliozoea vya kunyonga wajiandalie vya kuchinja. Walevi watachinja yoyote atakayemdhulu kamanda wao wa kupambana na ufisadi kwa njia ya kutumbua mapunye, vipele na majipu. Kama wewe ni jipu jiandae kutumbuliwa lakini si zaidi ya hapo. Wale waliozoea kujiona wapo juu ya sheria wamechelewa. Wale waliozoea kutumia ofisi za umma kama maduka yao, wamepotea. Wale waliozooea kuugeuza urais urahis, walaaniwe na kutumbuliwa. Wale waliozoea kufanya mambo kwa mazoea, washike adabu na adabu iwashike. Uchangu wa kisiasa mwisho wake ni kwa Dokta Kanywaji.

Tofauti na waganganjaa na matapeli wanaotaka kumtumia Dk Kanywaji kwa maneno na maombi na matunguli, Mlevi hana muda huo wa kutafuta ulaji na ujiko wakati hakuna lolote. Wengi wanaodai wanataka kumuombea Dk Kanywaji wana dhambi kasi kwamba hata sheitwan mwenyewe hawataki. Wengi wao wanahitaji maombi. Wao wametoa urongo wao. Yeye ametoa mwili, roho na damu yake kuhakikisha anasimama bega kwa began a Dk Kanywaji ili kufanikisha ukombozi wa walevi. Walevi hawana dini. Hawaendi kwa vigagula wala hawabembelezi wala kuzuga kama matapeli wa maombi. Wao hufanya kweli. Tunachukua michupa yetu na kwenda kumshughulikia yoyote tunayehisi anataka kumdhuru Dk Kanywaji. Usiombe kukosana na wavuta bangi tena wanaokula kitu inaitwa gongo. Hawaogopi hata ndata wala vigagula wala hawatapeliwi na yoyote isipokuwa mama mwenye baa. Wakiamua wanakuja na kumaliza udhia bila kujali yatakayofuatia.

Acha nitumie fursa hii kumwambia Dk Kanywaji kuwa asihofu kitu; walevi tuko nyuma yake. Ila asiulize ili tumfanye nini. Tuko nyuma yake kumlinda dhidi ya washenzi wanaotaka kumkwamisha. Tutawakwamisha na kuhakikisha hapakaliki. Tunamwambia kwa kinywa kipana kuwa aendelee kutumbua majipu usiku na mchana wala bila wasiwasi wala kuangalia ukubwa wa majipu. Hata yale majipu yaliko chamani au kwenye serikali yake asiyaache. Hata yale yanayojipeleka ikulu mara kwa mara kutaka kumzuga ayatumbue. Hapa ni kazi tu; kutumbua majipu. Muhimu, asitumbue walevi. Maana, walevi si tishio kwa usalama wala ustawi wa kaya zaidi ya kaya zao.

Kabla ya kusahau, tumkumbushe Dk Kanywaji. Akitaka kuondoa mzizi wa fitina, aangalie pale alipoanzia na wale waliomalizia pale. Asiangalie nyani usoni wala kuangalia ukubwa wala umaarufu wa nyani husika. wala asijali vicheko na mikenuo ya nyani wahusika wala ushawishi wa kujifanya wanamchekea wakati wangetaka wacheke kwenye matanga yake. Take on them without looking into their faces. Look into their eyes and tell them; this is it. Mlifanya ushenzi mliofanya; lazima malipo yawe hapa hapa kayani na duniani au vipi?

Leo sitachonga wala kuzoza sana. Nakwenda kupiga tizi ili niwahi ikulu kuanza kumlinda Dk Kanywaji. Pia natoa taarifa rasim; wote mnaokula njama kumhujumu Dk Kanywaji–kama alivyoonya hivi karibuni kule Katesh–mnacheza na maisha yenu. Heri Mlevi kunyotoka roho akimlinda mkombozi wao kuliko kungoja wamhujumu halafu wawadedishe walevi kwa dhiki na ufukarishwaji, ukapa, ukwete na umwinyi. Message sent.

Ombi; kwa wale wote wenye nia nzuri wanaotaka kumlinda Dk Kanywaji tukutane kwa Mfuga dog kwenye Dojo langu kuanza mazoezi ya kujichua tayari kuanza kumlinda mkombozi wa walevi mwana wa mlevi aliyempa jina la Kanywaji. See you then and thither guys.

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Boozer’s one incurable weakness; he doesn’t know how to sugarcoat anything. He speaks things other fear and hate to take on. This is one of such things. When racist Indians attacked African in February this year–after a Bongolaland girl’s beaten up, mobbed, stripped and violated simply because a Sudanese drive knocked down an Indian woman–they wrongly thought they’d get away with murder. They faultily thought Africans are good at nothing but forgetting and forgiving just the same way they’ve always evidenced apartheid amidst in the form of caste system among themselves without taking any decisive actions. It seems; things have changed albeit. According to the Kenyan Daily Nation (May 25, 2015), African envoys to India decided to rekindle the fire that may see India lose its magic. They decided to say enough is enough so as to advise their countries to stop sending students to India for the fear of being discriminated against or being killed. They think; the number of those that have already been killed is enough. The paper quoted Kenya’s High Commissioner to India, Florence Weche as saying, “Given the pervading climate of fear and insecurity in India, the African heads of missions are left with little option than to consider recommending to their governments not to send new students to India unless and until their safety can be guaranteed.” Boozers, too, have left with no option except stating that it is enough. African countries should categorically boycott everything Indian. Essentially, boozers have nothing to lose except their disgrace given that whatever they need from India can be supplied by China. If need be, they’d reconsider denying citizenship to Hindis. After all, even the education that’s warranting the killing of our brethren is arguably and comparatively wanting just like most of the goods they buy from there. Boozers think: those the colonial monsters brought to exploit them are enough; and must be viewed with suspicion due to the fact that they, too, are stinking racists. Refer to how they don’t intermarry with them; or share even religion with them. If there’s the religion the former shares with the latter’s nothing but monkey biz whose god is dosh.

Again, boozers concur with their envoys. They know too well; this is not the fear of the unknown. It is real; and needs equal reciprocity. Boozers say it openly without mincing words that they’ve nothing to lose given that since these guys were brought by British brutish colonial monsters many decades ago have boycotted them; and discriminated against them except for their toil and products so to speak. Foolishly though, boozers allowed them to get away with murder while what they’ve always done is apartheid that’s traceable to their caste system. Yet, the world is calling them the biggest democracy! How so with such a stinking racist system and culture! Boozers–I don’t know if it is because of being rash, stoned or nifty–to say that colonial monsters exported their apartheid even to Africa today where they live in their cocoons under the pretext of religion. Try to take on them. All stupid boozers will be on you condemning while they’ve always been discriminated against systematically. Who’s fooling whom hither guys? It seems; boozers have awakened up from their anesthetic slumber so as to learn from Hindis and become racists themselves. Again, if you ask them; why they’re pondering on replicating the same sin; they just say that tit is always for tat; and their justice is a tooth for a tooth the same way foreign religions teach them. What’s wrong to fly a fish with its own fat? Why boozers become fair game but when they think about–forget about doing the same–are intimidated and condemned? Honestly, I don’t support retributive justice otherwise if those committing the sin first; and play better than thou, so be it. I hate racism be it by Hindis, Zungus or Swahilis. Racism is racism; there’s no good or humane racism. We need to fight it left and right by treating each other equally and equitably. I wish I’d get a Hindi girl to make a wife if racism would not have been an issue.

Boozers seem hell-bent to emancipate themselves as they assert their presence especially in Africa. They say that Africa needs to reciprocate by sending Hindis back if they don’t change; or start watching them closely wherever they’re so that they can stop discriminating against them at home and abroad. Ironically, even those guys that colonial monsters brought and left in Africa are still discriminating against boozers despite allowing them to keep on exploiting them something colonial monsters brought them to do. Tit for tat; the govt of Hindis must be told to its face that boozers know everything. So too, it’d be shunned up till it abandons its caste apartheid that it’s always perpetrated against people with the so-called black colour be they Hindis or Swahilis.

Source: Guardian.

Hakuna kitu kibaya kama kuishiwa. Mtu aliyeishiwa hana tofauti na mtu aliyechanganyikiwa hasa kama hakubali kuwa ameishiwa. Hivi karibuni mwenyekiti Tanzania Labour Party (TLP), Augustine Mrema, aliwaacha wengi hoi kama si kuwaudhi alipojigeuza jaji kiasic ha kumtuhumu Katibu mkuu wa Chama cha Wananachi (CUF), Maalim Seif Sharrif Hamad, kuwa ni mhaini bila kujua hata ukubwa wa tuhuma kama hizo.

Mrema aliitisha mkutano wa waandishi wa habari na kujivua nguo. Hata hivyo, kutokana na hali yake kiafya, kuna uwezekano; uwezo wake wa kufikiri unazidi kumtupa mkono. Pia, tokana na elimu yake kiduchu, Mrema ameonyesha wazi kuwa hata hiyo shahada aliyodai aliipata Marekani ni feki; na inapaswa kuchunguzwa; ili ikiwezekana atumbuliwe sawa na wengine walioghushi sifa na vyeti vya kitaaluma. Kama Mrema angejua uzito na athari za madai yake, wala asingejivua nguo. Ina maana yeye ndiye anajua sheria kuliko mamlaka zote za Tanzania ambaye ameuona “uhaini” wa Seif ambao serikali imeshindwa kuuona? Kama ni mhaini, kwanini hakamatwi na kufunguliwa mashtaka? Jamani, hata kama ni kutetea mtu au ulaji, angalau wanaofanya hivyo watumia japo akili lau kidogo tu. Hata unapotaka kumnasa samaki, angalau, huweka kitu kidogo kwenye chambo. Kwanini Mrema anataka kupaka rangi upepo au kutaka kuung’ao mbuyu kwa kijiko?

Mrema alimtuhumu Seif kuwa ni mbinafsi bila kujua kuwa naye alichokuwa akifanya pale licha ya kuwa ubinafsi wa kujipendekeza ili akumbukwe lau kwa cheo ni kujidhalilisha na kuchochea vurugu; sijui ili apate nini? Kwanini Mrema hakubali kuwa kwake game is up; na akajiuguze aone mwisho wa hali yake? Pia, Mrema alimtuhumu Seif kuwa anautaka urais kwa gharama yoyote; hata kama ni kwa njia ya kumwaga damu. Madai ya ajabu, hovyo na uongo wa wazi wazi. Inaonekana Mrema hana kumbukumbu tena ya jana tu? Sijui ni kwa kukosa kumbukumbu au makusudi mazima Mrema alishindwa kukumbuka kuwa ni maalim Seif huyu huyu aliyewahamasisha wazanzibari wasifanye fujo tena wengi wa wafuasi wake walipokuwa tayari kuingia mitaani kuitangazia dunia kuwa wamedhulumiwa! Sijui kwanini Mrema hakumbuki kuwa ni Seif huyu huyu–anayemzushia ubinafsi, uhaini na uroho wa madaraka bila kutoa ushahidi–ndiye aliyekutana na rais John Pombe Magufuli ikulu na kumhakikishia kuwa hataunga mkono vurugu. Je huo umwagaji damu anaoongelea Mrema ni upi?

Ajabu ya maajabu ni madai ya Mrema kuwa aliyopayuka yalitokana na uzoefu wake wa kuwa waziri wa mambo ya Ndani wa muda mrefu bila kutaja huo muda mrefu ni miaka mingapi na kwa vigezo vipi? Kwani uwaziri wake wa Mambo ya Ndani ni taaluma? Kwanini Mrema hataki kuwa mkweli kwake binafsi na umma kuwa anasumbuliwa na kusukumwa na njaa kiasi cha kujipendekeza kwa rais Magufuli ili lau amkumbuke kwa cheo lau agangie njaa kali inayomkabili? Ama kweli wahenga walisema; adui yako muombee njaa na mwenye njaa kweli hana miiko. Pia, hili la kutaka apewe lau ubunge wa kuteuliwa nalo linapaswa liangaliwe vilivyo na kwa makini hasa ikizingatiwa hali ya kiafya ya Mrema. Hivi Mrema anadhani Magufuli ni mtu wa kutapeliwa kirahisi hivyo; abugi step amteue mtu ambaye anapaswa kutumia muda uliobaki kujiuguza? Hata kutoka kwenye mkutano wenyewe alikorushia makombora yake alitoka akiwa ameshikiliwa kuonyesha asivyo timamu kiafya. Hivi kwa udhaifu wa kiafya alio nao Mrema, anaweza kufanya kazi gani zaidi ya kutaka ateuliwe ale dezo jambo ambalo nalo ni ubinafsi, ufisadi, upotezaji fursa na matumizi ya fedha za umma ukiachia mbali kuwa ujipu ambao Magufuli akiufanya atakuwa anajipiga mtama? Tunamshauri Seif na Magufuli wampuuzie Mrema. Kwani, inavyoonekana, anataka afe na mtu. Hebu tuwe wakweli kidogo. Unawezaje kumteua mgonjwa; au Mrema anajigonga ili aendelee kugharimiwa matibabu India?

Kwanini Mrema–kama kweli si mbinafsi tena wa kunuka–anaamua kuwapakazia wengine ndiyo apate mradi wake? Kama tukiwa wakweli, kuna mwanasiasa mbinafsi Tanzania kama Mrema ambaye kila alipohamia aliua vyama kwa sababu ya ubinafsi na ukosefu wa usomi na busara na uzalendo? Kwanini Mrema anataka kuwageuza watanzania majuha na wasio na kumbukumbu kiasi hiki; wakati wanajua historia yake iliyojaa ubinafsi, ujanja ujanja, utatanishi ukiachia mbali uchu wa madaraka? Kama Mrema amepoteza kumbukumbu, basi asidhani watanzania wote wamepoteza kumbukumbu kama yeye. Mgogoro wa matokeo ya uchaguzi wa Visiwani si wa kufanyia usanii wala kugangia njaa. Wengi walidhani; Mrema angewahimiza wahusika wakae kwenye meza ya mduara. Bahati mbaya sana, tena sana, Mrema anaonekana kumwaga mafuta kwenye moto. Hata hivyo, kutokana na kuishiwa kwake, sijui kama Seif atapoteza muda kumjibu hasa ikizingatiwa kuwa hamna hoja ya msingi ya kujibu; ukiachia mbali kutaka umaarufu kupitia mgongoni mwake na UKAWA. Je anadhani watanzania wamemsahau Mrema muungu mtu aliyetaka kila tatizo la kitaifa litatuliwe kijijini kwake Kiraracha? Nani hamkumbuki Mrema mpenda makuu? Kama Mrema anataka kurejea CCM, si arejee tu badala ya kuanza kutafuta kuwachafua wenzake? Kwanini Mrema amejigeuza mpinzani wa wapinzani na kwa faida ya nani?

Ni bahati mbaya kuwa Mrema hakutoa hata suluhisho wala m change kwenye tatizo zaidi ya tuhuma za uongo ambazo alishindwa hata kuzithibitisha achia mbali kushindwa kujenga hata hoja. Amekuwa tatizo badala ya kuwa jawabu.

Tuhitimishe kwa kumuuliza Mrema kwanini anashindwa kuwa refa mzuri kwa kuangalia mapungufu ya pande zote? Au ni ile hali ya kuwa njaa inapopanda kichwani basi hubongo huacha kutumika na badala yake utumbo hutumika?

Chanzo: Tanzania Daima.

Kijiwe chataka waliosamehe kodi wanyongwe

Hii Kali sijui macho yangu!!!!!!!!

Makufuli chunga wasikuKolimbe au kukuSoikone

Viapo vya akina Makonda vina uhalali kisheria?

Crucify those who offered 8tn tax exemption

Kijiwe: Walioficha njuluku ughaibuni wanyongwe

Wake za mawaziri waitwe "mawazira"

Sukari: Mnamuonea Magufuli

Mugful: Boozers need their houses back

Nyimbo zangu nilipokuwa Kenya

Kijiwe chamuaga Kitwanga

Racism: India can't get away with murder anymore

Mlevi kusafirisha bangi na mirungi kwa ndege

Boozers Want Special Seats Rescinded

Ile nadanganya veve kuwa Swahili iko na sida nenda India bana

Kijiwe chalaani akina Mkamia

Mlevi kumlinda Makufuli

Tujikumbushe alikotokea Mohamed Ali marehemu

Boycott everything Hindi boozers

Mgogoro wa Visiwani: Mrema haisaii Tanzania